Our 18th Webcast where we discuss Positive Thinking and How to See Clearly Through a Murky 2021.

 

 

So what do we do every year during the holiday season? We make outlandish, unattainable, and often ridiculous resolutions that almost all of us already know we will not keep. Interested in a better video / film success plan for 2021+? To help find a more useful solution to this New Year’s ritual we invited the authors of You Can Choose to share their proven techniques. As always, bring your questions and let’s learn together.

 

Sarah Marince:

Hello, everyone. Happy Wednesday. And welcome to crew talk brought to you by shoots.video. I’m Sarah Marince and we have Justin here, and we are your hosts today for this episode, our last episode of 2020. Can you guys believe it? We are done with this year and I think everybody here is happy to send 20, 20 away. Aren’t we all, we’re all clapping for. Yes, goodbye 2020. And that’s kind of what we’re going to be talking about today is how to kind of look into the new year and better ourselves and how we can kind of get back on track a little bit, because I think everyone would agree 2020 was somewhat of a rough one for everyone in a lot of different areas. So I’m going to go ahead and introduce my panel here today. And when I do, why don’t you just go ahead and tell a little bit about yourself who you are, where you are and kind of what you do. So Blake, we have you on today. We can see you. So I guess you’re joining us on the panel today. You’re always kind of behind the scenes, so hello, Blake. Hello, cutie. Tell everyone about

Blake Barnett:

Sure. I’m Blake Barnett the co owner of BLARE MEDIA. We’re a production company based out of Fresno, California, and we do work mostly on the West coast. Wonderful. That’s all I got.

Sarah Marince: Okay, Peter.

Peter Bostwick:

Yes. Hi, my name is Peter Bostwick and I’m the co-founder. You can choose which we’ll be talking about today. I normally live in Santa Cruz, but I happened to be out here in beautiful Colorado to experience some snow, which is a lot of fun for Christmas and new years.

Sarah Marince:

Wonderful. Yeah. It’s nice to have a white Christmas.

Sarah Marince:

Yes, Chris, welcome back. Yeah.

Chris Vaglio:

Happy to be back. Thanks for having me. So Hey everybody happy new year. So I’m Chris Maglio, I’m the CEO of Rock It Growth Agency and I’m a personal branding coach and consultant who actually after 20 years of owning and operating my own video production, I was a co-founder and co-owner of gray sky films. I decided to exit and start my new agency in the middle of a pandemic called rocket growth agency. So I’m super happy to be here and thanks for having me back excited to talk to everybody tonight.

Sarah Marince:

Awesome. And Beth, welcome. Hey, thank you

Beth Bostwick:

For having me. So I’m, I’m the other half of Peter and we are well serial entrepreneurs. We’ve started a number of companies in the Bay area. We, I am the other half of the house in Colorado freezing my Fanny off. But today we work with an organization called you can choose that we, which is all about how powerful your thinking is. And that’s what I’m hoping we can share with folks today about how they can look into the new year in an empowering way.

Sarah Marince: Absolutely. And Justin,

Justin McAleece:

Hi, Justin McAleece, a co-owner of BLARE MEDIA, along with Blake Barnett here, and I have a movie that just came out this, this month the 22nd of December, it’s been on Amazon prime since then it’s called Brick Madness and check it out. That’s that.

Sarah Marince:

Awesome. Well, yes, Beth, you mentioned the power of your thoughts and thinking, and I know how important that is. Like when you think something and you put it out there, you know, you can make it happen, but how can people who find themselves in a difficult place help themselves? I guess we should kind of start with that and I’ll direct the question to you.

Beth Bostwick:

Sure. So, so the thing that’s so amazing is every one of us has the ability to do it ourselves. It’s the only thing, if you think about it, that you really have control over is yourself. And so everything that you do with your head will work with you, work for you or work against you. And so one of the things that we really like to talk about is how powerful your thinking is, and you can choose your thoughts. Okay? Some people think that that’s not necessarily something that you get to do, but when you can choose your thoughts, that’s the ultimate ability to be empowered because two people can tell you how to think about things, but you still get to choose how you think about that. And the thing that’s most important is how you think about yourself. So if you think of yourself as, as a go getter and successful, you are a go- getter and you are a success. If you think of yourself, the other way, that you’re not a success and, and you can’t do anything right, well, that’s sometimes reflected then in your life. And so we really want to do is help people understand that it’s all within your ability to promote and strengthen yourself. You just have to listen. You have to get to know yourself.

Sarah Marince:

Where does it start though? Cause I know this year, just with everything that happened and how hard it was on so many people people being away from their family and friends, or maybe you lost your job or just different things that can affect you. You know, mentally, physically you can, it can really beat down on you. So like where does it start? I know with the thinking, but like, do you wake up every day, look in the mirror and say, okay, I can do this. I’m a good person. Or do you make a list? Like what are some good things to even like, get that positive thinking off the ground.

Beth Bostwick:

Yeah. So the best way to start is start small little bitty things. Okay. And you know, I’m sure people have heard about the importance of gratitude, but sometimes it makes, it makes a difference when you shift the coin or flip the coin over, instead of looking at all of what’s wrong in the world and how bad things are. If you flip it over and say, wow, I have all these things in my, and it doesn’t matter how small they are. If you pay attention to those little things and you do a little bit every day, even amongst all the yucky stuff that’s going on, that makes a difference because each day, and I tell people is it’s not hard work, but you need to be consistent at doing it. So sometimes you look in the mirror and you just like grin and you’re just like, okay, I’m gonna smile today.

Beth Bostwick:

I’m going to just smile. And that little bit makes a difference, but you got to do it consistently. Can’t do it once a week. You need to do it every, and especially when you’re feeling really tough, things are going on in your head. You’re thinking about, you know, somebody just dropped a contract or something, you know, some you lose some business thinking about, okay, so I lost that business, but then flip it around to say, but maybe there’s something better out there for me. And if you just you’d replace the negative stuff with the positive stuff and you start to believe yourself, that’s how you start it. That’s how you get going. And you build momentum with that. Peters. Have anything to add? Oh, sorry, Justin.

Justin McAleece:

I going to say like the, the idea of faking it till you make it sort of explain, maybe go into that a little bit, Peter, of like, if you just don’t believe yourself, you, you have imposter syndrome or you just don’t think you deserve it or you’re good enough or whatever it happens to be. And it’s just like really sort of, you don’t, you don’t feel like you have a basis for that to begin with. Can you explain to me maybe a little bit about like, just even pretending to believe, and then eventually that turns into belief. How does that work?

Peter Bostwick:

Sure. I can gladly talk about that and I can talk about it firsthand experience. So before we started talking about the power of your thinking, I was a mess I used, I was, I suffered greatly from depression in, I remember very specifically getting up in the morning and feeling so bad about myself. But one of the things that I did is we started coming out of, I started realizing how powerful that I was was in fact what you’re saying, fake it till you make it. And I remember very specifically just smiling as I got out of the shower and smiling as I was driving into work, cause say, come on, you got to get there. And it was just part of that process. Maybe it released some, some chemicals in my brain or whatever did, but it also helped me to get into the, the mode of this is who I want to be now.

Peter Bostwick:

Because, because you are where you are, right. Get over that. But where do you want to be? And where you want to be is probably happier and healthier and more vibrant and all those kinds of things. So pretend like you are. And that’s what I started off doing. Is this doing this little smile thing and it just kind of made little bit of a changes. I had to do a whole bunch of other things. I’m sure we’ll get a chance to talk about, but they’re fake it till you make it thing really does work. And, but, but you want to do it twofold, right? You want to broadcast that you’re, that you’re happier or you’re, you’re good. But you also want to take a little bit in internally as well. You want to start to brute, you can’t believe it to begin with, but a little bit at a time we just start to, Hey, wait. That was the nice reaction that I got when I was smiling to somebody. Maybe I’m not evil incarnate. Maybe I’m not a complete waste. Right. I maybe I’m it’s okay. I’m okay. Maybe I’m enough. And you just go a little like best set a little tiny bit at a time. Yeah. Great. 

 

Sarah Marince:

Chris, I wanted to talk to you about, Oh, sorry. I feel like I’m stepping on everyone today. Just, you know, a lot of people may have start looking for jobs in 2021. Things may start to turn around. So how do you kind of shift your mindset? And to think differently when you’re doing a job search.

Chris Vaglio:

Yeah. It’s, it’s a really great question. And I actually get asked this a lot and I’ve talked to a lot of different people about this very thing. And, and so it is one of those things where, you know, as somebody who was employer for many years and having to hire people, you know, I will tell you this from my side and, and then, and hopefully people can learn from this is that, you know, somebody who’s who’s hired somebody, obviously skill is, is a part of it. Like no doubt. Like you have to be able to do the given job positions, skill, whatever it is you’re being hired to do. But as an employer, like I always looked at it as you know, and it’s not like we were a giant business. I mean, at our, at our peak, we were at like maybe 20 people, but like, we’re a small business.

Chris Vaglio:

So you, for me, I was always looking for people who were like, not only could they just do the skill and the task that needed to be filled, but what else do they bring to the company? What other things do they do? What are their skills they possess or, or values or DNA or, you know, culture, all those different things that like I can utilize as part of the company, what would be something that they really bring? And so that was always a big part of our interview process of not only can they do the skill, but what else can they bring? And I think oftentimes a lot of people don’t really think about those other things, those other, you know, skills, interests you know, like for instance, like, you know, this is all part of the personal branding type of things. Like, you know, what, if you are an awesome chef or an amazing gardener, or you’re amazing at like, whatever it is that you were like, totally interested in, like put that on your social profiles, like share that.

Chris Vaglio:

Like, I would love to know that like if you know, I was hiring somebody in air coming on board and I found it, Oh my God, like they make the world’s best like pies, or I dunno, they’re an expert at like model shipbuilding, whatever it is. Like, I think that’s really cool because those kinds of skills and that, that sort of know how does that’s something like an employer can actually really leverage, you know? So I say, don’t worry about this. I think we get so wrapped up in and it’s to, to, to Peter and Beth’s point like so hard, it’s like, you can’t really think about like, what other people think you should be? You know, it’s this, it’s this false reality. We create we’re human, we all do it. I’ve done it. We’ve all done. It, everybody on here is guilty of doing it.

Chris Vaglio:

It’s what we do as human beings. But like realizing it’s kind of like we’re building our own little matrix around us, you know? And so it’s like bust out of that, get out of that mindset that there’s this perceived notion that everybody else thinks we have to be, but it’s really ourselves that creates that perceived notion, get rid of that, like for yourself from that, and just start using, utilizing your other strengths and interests and put that out there and share that because that becomes very valuable. At least for me, that’s how I always looked at it as an employer. Like I wanted to see those, those different things about somebody. So put that stuff out there, wear it like a badge, share it.

 

Justin McAleece:

Yeah. And I think it’s important to, like you’re saying to bring that passion. And Peter said that in the chat is like, I want to hire people, whether it’s for a day or for a week or a month, or to actually work at the company, I want to hire people that are passionate. And that doesn’t mean that they’re necessarily as passionate about video production as that might be about any of the other things you listed, but if they can sort of port that over or they can make that sort of their mentality or their attitude or how they approach things, then I’m much more apt to want to hire them. And so as a video production professional, if like you can figure out a way to, like you said, leverage who you are outside of, maybe your work into your work a little bit and just present yourself that way, then you can be the sum of all those parts. And I think that’s a really powerful way to approach potential employers.

Chris Vaglio:

Yeah. If 100% is it really is. I got to tell you it’s something that I know a lot of people look for. They look for those little things. I don’t think they aren’t like employers. Aren’t looking for that. Like they are, they really are because it is an investment. It’s their investment. I always thought of it. It’s a two-way contract that paycheck that they give you is a two-way street, you know? And, and that’s how I always looked at it. And it’s, and that’s where, you know, it’s, it’s that little contract between employer and employee. If you want to just break it down like that, that, you know, I’m giving you this for your, for F for your value, like what you can bring to the business.

Sarah Marince:

Absolutely. And I just wanted to drop a quick little note to everybody cause I’ve forgotten the beginning. If you have any questions for our panel, just you can throw them right in our question and answer box to the chat box in here. Cause you know, I have my list of questions as always, but we always love to ask the questions that you guys have as well. So just wanted to throw that out there. But yeah, Chris, I agree with everything you’re saying. And Peter, the same thing, like bring the passion and show what you’re passionate about. That is super, super important. Yes. Passion, passion. We love to see it. So kind of what everyone was saying about, and especially Beth, like thinking positively and you know, it’s starting small with that. But what are some of the difficult things that go along with this? Because you know, you can start it and you think, but you hit hiccups along the way, or maybe there might be like a negative person or influence in your life that you kind of have to get past, or maybe it’s something with your job you have to get past. So how do you kind of navigate those hiccups?

Beth Bostwick:

Are you asking me that question?

Sarah Marince:

Sure. We’ll start with you. And everybody can kind of and you know, Peter and Chris and Justin, everyone can kind of jump in after that’s fine.

Beth Bostwick:

So, so a really great thing that I use. And I do use this and Peter, I know does it as well is when something doesn’t quite work the way you want it to maybe the good, the job you thought that was yours to have, you’re like down to the last interview and it didn’t go your way instead of saying, Oh man, I screwed up this or I did it wrong. You say, instead, there’s something better for me. I didn’t get this because there’s something better for me. And when you start to shift your mindset that way, that’s when the opportunity start to show up. And I think if we all go back in our background, there’s probably a particular experience. We can remember where I didn’t get it, but then I ended up getting something so much better. It was the most amazing thing.

Beth Bostwick:

Well guess what? If you live your life that way and you’re continually looking for that next best thing and being open to possibilities, I mean, you don’t define it. It’s got to look just like this box. And if you don’t get that box, well, you’re cutting out all the possibilities that might even be better for you. And so it’s we Peter and I will talk about it as, know what you want, but then allow it to happen. Which means you define it, but then you’re open to possibilities. And that’s a, that’s a tough line to walk, but I’ll tell you, it just brings so many more exciting things into your life when you live that way.

Sarah Marince:

So it doesn’t have to, you won this thing, but it doesn’t have to happen on this one path. It might zigzag or go all these different ways to kind of get to the outcome. The outcome might be even greater than you ever expected it to Gates.

Beth Bostwick:

Exactly. So don’t limit yourself.

Justin McAleece:

And I would say from a, like a filmmaker’s perspective, you know, to any of the screenwriters out there, one of the basic building blocks of writing a story is having a character, get what they want. And then the character realizes that’s not actually what they wanted and they need to reach for something else. That’s like, that’s all the cause and effect in most plots, you get something then you’re like, Oh, I need something else. Now when you keep moving and that’s not necessarily a bad thing, it’s the way you deal with that process.

Beth Bostwick:

Yes. That’s actually a wonderful way to put it. I had never thought of it that way, but wow.

Justin McAleece:

That’s our way to just keep coming up with stuff for them to do basically within this, within a plot or screenwriting or whatever, make things difficult. See if they can pass the test. Once they pass the test, make them there’s another test, Yeah. That’s how the basic thing is constructed.

Peter Bostwick:

Even Sarah and Sarah, you make a good point because, you know, as you’re moving on, you don’t know what, what it is. That’s, that’s the right or the end or the best solution. Right. And sometimes we go, I am onto something so early on and we miss that. We miss out on all that, beyond that and as possible, because in any given moment, it might seem like us the right thing. But if you take a, a step back a couple of a couple of feet or a couple of days, or a couple of months, is that really the right choice? Is that really the best result that you could get? You don’t know because you don’t know what’s happening next or what after that. So whatever happened happened now, doesn’t mean you have to stick with it. You just keep moving on beyond it. So it’s so important with that said there don’t latch on to what has happened or what is in front of you think instead about what it is that you want. And then just keep that out there. And eventually you’ll get there. As long as you have that in front of yourself at all times, I was just gonna say, that goes back to your guys’ premise of your book. Like, what do you guys, what do you want? And that’s a hard question to ask.

Beth Bostwick:

It’s a hard one to answer.

Blake Barnett:

Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Yeah.

Beth Bostwick:

And so the thing that I was going to say that I think is I’ll just add on if I could, one more thing. The thing that’s really important is we’re always changing just because you wanted something yesterday doesn’t necessarily mean that’s the same thing you want tomorrow. So that’s why it’s important to be open to possibilities because there may be things that you haven’t even thought about that really are totally aligned with what you want, but you’ve just never had a big enough perspective to see it. And I, I use things, example with somebody I worked with a couple of years ago about how he’s got these five senses we touch, see, hear, feel taste, but what if you had 250,000 different senses, you just don’t get access to all those right now. But if you let go and start to build a relationship with yourself, then you can start to pay attention to that stuff. And then the world becomes really, really amazing and wonderful.

Chris Vaglio:

Yeah, I agree. I I’d say that’s a great, that’s a great way of saying that. I did a actually today I read a quick tip. I, I try to do these like really quick video tips and I put them out on tech talk and stuff. And today, you know, I did the one, which is, you know, it’s one of these things I feel like is very like appropriate for this conversation because I’ve been thinking about it and it’s something I do. Which is, if you like the question that really asks is like, what is the thing that you want to bring you happiness and success? Like, what is that for you? Like what does that look like? Whatever it is. And it may change a little bit, but like write that down. Like the minute you can really think about it, like sit and think about what is happiness, what is success for you?

Chris Vaglio:

Write that down and stick it right in front of you. Like I would say today, I just had this conversation. What I have right in front of me is actually a quote I have from Tony Shay it’s envision create believe in your own universe and you, your universe will form around you. That to me is happiness and success. If I can achieve that and I can help other people achieve that that’s happiness and that’s success for me. And I see every single day. So that’s what I tell everybody to do. Like write that down, like whatever it is. So you’re seeing it every day and the thing, and this is exactly what Peter and Beth were talking about. And this goes to the mindset. The fact that you’re seeing that every day means every single day that you read that and see it and say to yourself, you are subconsciously going to move yourself towards that. You just will, because that’s what you’re feeding your brain. That’s what you’re feeding your thoughts. So all your actions, whether you realize it or not will bring you closer and closer to that happiness and success, whatever it is you’ve defined for yourself, you know, that’s the, the, the Napoleon Hill think and grow rich. Like you are what you think.

Peter Bostwick:

Yeah. You do get what you focus on without a doubt. You do. Yeah. Absolutely positive thinking.

Sarah Marince:

Yeah, no, I, I know on my computer here, I keep little post-it notes of like like, you know, you have your goal list for mine changes up for the month or whatever. But little like quotes and things on little post- its. Cause I think that is like the power of positive thinking and things like that. I think that absolutely helps you every day when you’re seeing that one of the questions that I had a few moments ago when we were talking Peter, I think when you were talking about like navigating the path, so when you’re saying not to get stuck, well, how do you know you’re not making like a wrong choice or like, you know, a bad decision or something like that when you’re on that path and everybody does. I mean, that’s how you learn. And when you look back, you’re like, Oh, that mistake led me here or there, but how do you know? You’re not making them the big ones or whatever.

Peter Bostwick:

Right. So that’s like, that’s a great question because so many people will get a petrified in frozen because they’re afraid of making the wrong choice. Right. I know what I lived. A lot of my life afraid to death. I used to call it. I’m afraid to make it a negative vector because I would have to retrace my steps. And it’s like, Oh my gosh, how bad could it be? It’s so silly. But there are big choices that I’ve made that. And other people have made too, that are, it seemed like the wrong choice, right? It seems like the absolute worst thing to do. You, you stumble, you, you have a difficult time with a business partner or whatever it is, but, but that’s just part of moving forward. Sometimes we set up these challenges for ourselves to overcome those issues. So the think that that’s a wrong thing is very, very limiting.

Peter Bostwick:

It’s, it’s a thing. And it might not be what you want, but it might be exactly what you need to help you move forward, get what you want to eventually get what you want, because you probably don’t even know what you want yet, because you’re still, still back here dealing with those issues. So it’s, it’s, it’s a kind of a tough way of saying it, but it is the challenge that you have in front of us, front of you is exactly what you need right now to deal with how to move forward, to get what you want.

Justin McAleece:

Yeah. And I think to develop that more, how do you make uncertainty power? You instead of cripple you, how do you use that as your actual motor going through those things?

Peter Bostwick:

Sure. The great thing about the future and uncertainty is that you get to create it. And if you look at the future as something that you’re empowering yourself to, to, to live into, then it changes it from, Oh my gosh, what’s going to happen if it takes you from being a victim and and, and having to live with the circumstances that come your way into the conductor, to the manager, to the leader of yourself and into your life, and you step into it, exactly knowing what you want. But if you go into it with fear, well, you’re going to get things that you have just that you would justify we’d be afraid of. But if you go into it with enthusiasm and power and confidence, that it can work for you. And that’s what you’re going to see more and more of now, if you’ve come from a place where you’ve all been fear for, for a long time, it’s going to take you a little while to change your, your mindset around it’s about talks about quite a bit, your mindset around, and some of those habits that you’ve developed, but that’s the way you make the steps step steps in order to get there.

Blake Barnett:

Yeah. And I think when, when you, when you mentioned challenges and a lot of people look at as like a negative thing, and I, and I think you’ve got to switch that it’s like, it’s an opportunity. It’s, you know, it’s a positive opportunity thing. And if you have, you changed your brain to think that way, then it’s, it ends up being a better thing for you overall.

Peter Bostwick:

Right? That’s one of the chapters we have in our book. Is it a, is it a problem or is it a challenge? Because we think of a problem is something that I have to overcome. It’s my way. But you think about a challenge, right? We all will have challenges. That’s why we go to competitions, right? That’s why we, we step up to bat. We want that challenge. So think of all these opportunities that you have in front of you as a challenge, it completely Blake, you set it right on, it switches your mindset.

Justin McAleece:

I was reading something yesterday and it said, you know, when you’re talking to your kids, young kids, whatever it is. And they’re saying like, math is really hard. And just even changing that word too, from math is hard to math is challenging and posing them that way to them helps them, hopefully understand that it’s like, it’s a thing to be, to be better than to accomplish, to get past, instead of just a heavy wall that you’re trying to butt up against or something like that. And just framing it that way, I think helps a lot.

Blake Barnett:

And not only framing it, saying it out loud, I heard that when you say something out loud, like for like something negative out loud, like four to seven times, more like you have to say it four to seven, you have to make up for it by saying it positively.

Beth Bostwick:

You know, I think something else that’s really powerful for folks is if you write things down, there’s something that happens between your head and your hand. I don’t know what it is, but there’s a connection in there that when you write it down, it somehow cements it in your burn set away. That’s more so than if you just think about it. And I think that’s where vision boards probably come from to help people begin to understand where they want to go. And I think that the more you you play in your head, you could argue daydreaming even about what it is. You’d like, just to imagine those are all really powerful ways to start to clarify for yourself what it is that you want. Because if you just ask yourself a question, what do I want? It’s like, okay, well, and lots of money, or I want a great relationship, but there’s a lot more that goes in behind it.

Beth Bostwick:

And I think that exploration is really where the power of daydreaming and thinking about what it is you like, just your shower or you’re walking the dog. That’s all really powerful plate time that you really use to help manifest what is you want for your future? And I think living forward in life is not something that we’re taught or socialized to do. We’re often socialized to think about all the mistakes we’ve made or how we’re supposed to be better, stronger. And I think that unfortunately tethers us in place. And it’s only when you cut those tellers loose to say, okay, well that happened in the past. I’m going this way now and freeing yourself from the expectations that you’ve allowed other people to play placed on you to say, you need to do this. You need to do that. Well, they can tell you that, but until you believe it, it’s not going to be in, when I say that, believe what you want to believe, don’t believe what you think you’re supposed to believe because other people have told you that. And that takes a certain amount of, of confidence. And that confidence is how you build every little day. You look for those little things that are really good, that you’re really grateful for. That’s how you build that base level to start to move forward.

Justin McAleece:

I think growing up as the continual process of realizing that no one else had it a hundred percent figured out either. And so that’s part of like, why beat yourself up? You realize you don’t know. Yeah, totally. We had a question here in the Q and a, and this is a tips advice for one man per one, man production crew, basically, if you’re the only videographer in an area and you don’t have money to advertise and you don’t know how else to get out there and actually get new jobs, how do you approach that? One way I would say is to like, try to do something for cheap or free for someone who, you know, can get, who know, who, you know, can get you more jobs, that sort of thing. So if you do something that’s sort of high profile or a company that has a lot of broad reach into other avenues or other industries, I think that could be an important way. Cause you’re you’re time maybe right

Justin McAleece:

Now, but money poor. And so use your time to make other stuff for other people who have the money or have the connections and hopefully get you more jobs in that way. I think that’s one way I would do it and to work on your reel obviously. And if there’s something, some specific industry you’re trying to grow into, then getting more stuff on your reel is super important for that, because that’s typically how people, how people hire a video production professionals. If they don’t see it on your reel, they won’t let you do the job. It’s rare that it works the other way. So, you know, you always want to have the things on your reel that you want to do in the future and finding a company that does that and then doing something for them, for a reduced rate or whatever it happens to be.

Justin McAleece:

It could be a really good way to get into that. Do you have a, maybe another idea on, on that Chris? Yeah, absolutely. And that, that Justin, that is super solid advice. So that that’s definitely good there. Another, another thing you can be doing too, is once again, playing off what you said just in the time, rich is really utilize that time as best you can. So a few quick things you could do that would totally make you super productive right away and get you on the, the, the, the path to developing business. One is beginning to take advantage of all your social media accounts. And if you don’t have social media accounts, you better start making them. So one is, look at LinkedIn, get your LinkedIn account up and running. Get that spruced up, take a look at that. Number two, your Instagram, your Facebook accounts, take a look at those accounts and begin developing content begin developing your personal brand.

Chris Vaglio:

So what do I mean by that? You’re obviously a videographer, you’re a video producer, you know, about video start creating very simple tips that you can share out. So that way people start to know that this is what you do. This is what you’re knowledgeable about in this area. And they’ll start to keep you top of mind. That’s one. And those are the people in your network. Number two, think about all the people. You have relationships in your network, like family, friends, anybody you’ve ever done business with everybody. And think about really putting a message out there saying, this is what I’m doing. This is what I’m looking for. I’m looking, you know, I’m looking for help. This is, you know, really put it out there to everybody leverage all the connections that you have to be able to get yourself going. So between taking what Justin said, which is super solid advice, and I think combining creating content, starting to put yourself out there and leveraging your network are going to be the things that are going to start getting you going like probably faster than, than you think.

Beth Bostwick:

And I add a little bit more to that. Yeah. So one more I’d add on top of that is start to think about who you want as your customer. Start to visualize that customer and start to interact with them in your head. This is how you start to create your world, or I’ll say, recreate your world because you can’t get a customer. If you don’t know what it feels like to have a great customer. So imagine the really great successful people that really want your work. That’s, that’s where you can, you can do that. That’s free. It’s all available to you.

Blake Barnett:

I love that. That’s great. Yeah. Blake, where are you going? Oh, I was just, I was just going to add, he said he was the only videographer in the area. And so I don’t know if that advice is helpful or not just because it’s a weird situation. I don’t know where this person is located. And so it’s hard to, yeah. Where is that? Cool. Cool. Yeah. so we’re really thinking about, you know, actionable causable things that you can do tomorrow. Like either to Beth or Peter, if you could wave a magic wand, what are the three, three or so things you would want someone to do in the next week to set themselves up for success in 2021?

Peter Bostwick:

Oh, the first, the first thing is to figure out what you want to spend as much time with that as you possibly can to think about what it is and if you do it, and if you just stay at the surface level and you say, I want more money or want a better job, or I want something to happen. You’re, you’re, you know, you’re not getting anywhere. You don’t, you’re not understanding what’s in your way for getting it because there are things in your way. Otherwise you’d have it already because sure everybody wants more money and everybody wants more time and everyone wants more, more something, but obviously you’re not getting it. So why in going through and drilling into that? Well, what are some of the conflicts I might have, you know, if I got a bigger job, would that mean that I won’t have time to spend with my family? So that’s a conflict that I have so understand. Maybe that’s getting in my work, a bigger job. Maybe I don’t want to work that hard. I’m afraid of working. Am I afraid of failure? So if you start asking yourself what it is that I want and all the reasons why I do want it, all the reasons why I don’t want it and drill into it, you’ll find, you’ll find a lot more richness that you can then use to focus your energies on getting it. That’s the first thing I would do.

Beth Bostwick:

Absolutely. I could talk forever on this, but the thing that I think could be really important if, if I had my wish for everybody is to watch your thinking, be a fly on the wall in your head and pay attention to what you think about when you’re not paying attention. So I learned once upon a time that I judge everything all around, I’d be sitting there and walking in the street, just sitting there and watching people walk down the street and I’d be judging what they’re wearing, how tall they are, how they fixed her hair. And I thought to myself, well, why, who cares? Let it go. It doesn’t mean move on girl. And I realized when I did that, that I took this cloak of judgment off my shoulder and my life seemed to just lighten up. And so I think pay attention to the way you think when you’re not watching, be the fly on the wall in your head. And I think that will be really valuable information, Chris. Yeah.

Chris Vaglio:

And I would say for a third one because those, those first two are really good. I would say for a third one is really utilize all your strengths and I’m even talking about the ones that you may not even realize that you have, and this is a great exercise to do. So if you’ve never done it, do this quick exercise and it’s a great way to reciprocate and do something nice for someone else to pick five people who know you really well and ask them what they think your best quality is, and then do the same for them. It’s a great way to reciprocate say, stay top of mind and do something good for one another, but you’ll be surprised sometimes about what people will say is your best quality, because you may not realize that, but once you have that, like that stuff becomes part of your personal way, but use that those are your strengths and that’s the stuff you’re going to be able to use to get through. And we’ll help you build your business, build yourself, build your brand and do everything that Peter and Beth are talking about. Combine all that together. And that will really help get you through and get you going on this year for sure. And any year really. I mean, it’s, it’s something, it’s something I actually need to do more of. I actually, haven’t done it in a while. I need to do it. I need to refresh it.

Justin McAleece:

You change over time. You get to be a different person. You get to have different strengths and all that. And you need to, you know, double down on those as much as possible, what you happen to be good at at that phase in your life. Yeah. Super important. We have another question here. What are your recommendations for Benin to build a team? Find great collaborators? I would say just about, as in anything in life, the key to that is finding people to give your efforts to, and to, to build comradery with, and to be a source of value. And I’m not saying try to do things for free. I sort of qualified my answer on that previously in the chat here, the Q and a, but I would say the more you give and the more you’re able to provide value to other people, the more they’re typically going to want to provide value to you.

Justin McAleece:

And if they’re not, then they weren’t going to anyway. So you didn’t really lose anything. And you’re also increasing your skills and you, hopefully people are going to say like, I like that guy. I like being around that person. I like having a relationship with that person. And, and they bring something interesting to the table that we didn’t have. And they’re going to look out for you next time. That’s been my experience. At least we made this whole movie break madness. And so much of it. We basically paid everyone, but we didn’t pay anyone what they would normally get paid. And it was my experience that everyone from top to bottom was happy to do it because we felt like we were part of a team. We felt like we were all providing value to something we cared about. So that’s important to working on things that people want to work on is obviously very important as well.

Chris Vaglio:

Yeah. It’s very important to have to have the right people around you and, and work with like-minded people and also having the ability to get rid of the people that don’t share with your like-mindedness right away. Like don’t keep them hanging around. You’re totally gonna waste like tie your thought process, like get rid of them out of your labs.

Justin McAleece:

Yeah, absolutely. What would you say about that, Peter, about sort of like time or attitude or just people sort of sucking the life out of the situation?

Peter Bostwick:

Sure. No. So listen to your, listen to your gut or listen to your heart. So don’t make a decision based on fear, or I got to get this person because he’s got the right or she’s got the right skills. I need to have it all I’ll lose or something like that. That’s absolutely the worst energy to bring to a relationship or a partnership. Instead, you want to switch it around to what do I feel when I’m around this person? Right. Do I get, am I getting back? What I’m giving? Is it, is it feel like we’ve got something that, you know, one and one equals 11 kind of a thing, do I, do I, do I add, do we add value with each other? And you want to do that on a personal level with everybody that you, that you want to work with. Right. How do we connect? Cause it’s like, you started off the whole discussion here, right? You got to have the skills to do the job, but that’s just the very, very, very basics, right? That’s what you have to do to it’s like your auntie coming in, but if you’re going to go for it, you gotta really have some kind of connection to be able to, to basically bring yourselves together so that you can add more value and you have to do that on a personal level.

Beth Bostwick:

Yeah. And I would just add, I would just have something to add here that, that, that, that also taps into the creativity. You get the really creative, interesting stuff. When you have that kind of collaboration, that kind of positive flywheel energy is kind of what we talk about in the startup space. You know, everybody gets something and when they get it, it just adds to it and they get the one plus one equals 11. I think the other aspect that people don’t always pick up on is that’s where the real creative, interesting things happen is when you have that energy, it does not happen when you have a, an energy of fear or I’m scared, or I don’t know about if I want to work with this person. And I guess going saying something about the feelings piece, that is something that you really want to pay attention to.

Beth Bostwick:

It’s how you feel about something is hugely important data for you as a person. And unfortunately we talk about covering up feelings and we don’t, we don’t like to experience them sometimes, especially if they’re scary or negative, but you will get so much farther in life and you’ll have a much more abundant, joyful life. If you do pay attention to how you feel about things. And this is especially important when you’re looking at relationships of any kind, whether they’re personal or professional. And if you tap into understanding what you feel or listening to, how you feel about something or someone that’s valuable, valuable data that nobody else can give you, you are talking to yourself and that’s building that ever important relationship that you need to have with yourself. That’s why we’re here is to learn more about ourselves and to experience. So

Justin McAleece:

That’s quite right. I find that. Yeah, absolutely. And I find that personally real quick is like, we’re so inundated with information and, and social media and all that stuff. Do you tend to tune out yourself? And I am guilty of it too, because you’re constantly intaking stuff, but you’re not just sitting with yourself and your thoughts and silence and all that stuff. And that can be very useful. Sarah, wait, what you’re saying?

Sarah Marince:

Oh, I was just gonna say that is great advice is to really stay in tune with yourself and listen to it yourself. And I was just going to ask really quickly, Beth. What is your advice for not getting overwhelmed when it seems like the world is just crumbling around you?

Beth Bostwick:

I think it’s really important for everybody to have a a practice of calm in their life. And when I say calm, I’m talking about getting out and spending time with yourself, whether it’s outside, whether it’s through some kind of a meditation practice, whether it’s writing some thing that works for you and everybody’s different. I ride bicycles for hours at a time when I can, because that’s the best way for me to get the cobwebs out of my head. And so what you’re asking about Sarah to me is when I’m caught up in the cobwebs, if I get rid of the cobwebs, then I probably won’t be so caught up in them in, I think if you have that kind of a practice in your life, that’s some kind of a regular occurrence. Maybe it could be once a day, it could be twice a day. It could be once every couple of days, but you have a practice that you tap into where you get to recenter yourself in, you get out of the, the chaos in your head sometimes. And if you don’t have that calming practice, it’s really difficult to get to your true North place. Does that help?

Sarah Marince:

That absolutely makes sense. And I think like what you said, it could be anything, whether it’s walking the dog or working out, like it could be two different opposite ends of the spectrum, but yes, absolutely. And really we’re going to get to the giveaway in just a moment, but Justin, did you have something you wanted to add to that?

Justin McAleece:

I was just going to say, sometimes the answer is staring you right in the face and you’re too dumbfounded by the, all the other stuff happening that it’s hard to see it. And so taking a step back, like that’s such cliche obvious stuff, but like, it absolutely helps in most situations of most importance. It’s like being able to just like, take yourself out of the equation for just a second and be like, Oh wait, that’s totally smart. That was right there. I could’ve done that. I, why didn’t I just do that? And then, you know, your problems are answered hopefully. Yeah.

Blake Barnett:

And make the time for yourself, like, like best session is run a bike, make sure you don’t cut that out of the schedule. You get busy with day-to-day stuff. It just kind of gets cut out, but make sure you have that in your calendar and you just, you know, you’re doing it because you gotta make sure you’re a good first.

Peter Bostwick:

And we have a little tool too, that we use. It’s called the wait a minute tool because sometimes you get caught over, you find yourself overwhelmed and in a crisis or something like that. And we, we pull out this little, that’s basically called wait a minute in. It allows you to take just a fraction of a moment to realize where you are when you are what’s going on around you. And it helps to put into perspective the chaos or the crisis or the feeling of overwhelm you have. And sometimes just having that little bit of a space, giving you that, wait a minute, have a space to look around and say, wait, this is not a crisis. I can deal with this. I know I can do steps one and two and three and get there. So you, all of a sudden that feeling of overwhelm can be dissipated immediately. So, so for us, it’s sure it’s great to have that practice as a calm for the long-term. You want to build that up. So you basically have a reservoir, but when you find yourself in a, in a crisis, you want to go there snap out of it quickly. We use this little tool called wait a minute.

Justin McAleece:

It’s a great idea. Yeah. I, I definitely have the, you know, I asked myself the question sometimes, like, is this gonna matter in a year? And if I, if it doesn’t, then I might just shut up about it. And that definitely helps me in certain situations.

Peter Bostwick:

And that’s the right thing to do. But sometimes it’s hard that to take the second to ask yourself that question, right? Because when the draining down on you, you’re the last thing you want to do. It’s like, huh? I wonder if it’s going to be breeding in a week. Right. You don’t think about that. Well, what do I do? What do I do for taking that? Wait a minute, we’ll give you that moment to ask that question. It’s like, wait, it’s raining now, but it’s probably going to start.

Sarah Marince:

That, that is all great. If I can keep talking about this for another two hours, this is, I think this is so important. Just not only for everyday, but especially after the year, we’ve all had going into a new year and everyone, you know, wants to reset, refresh. But I am going to take a moment right now to talk about our giveaway because I think it’s that time. So as always, we have our $50 BNH gift card. So for all of our participants today, not our panel, I’m sorry guys, you cannot win. But for all of our participants, we have a $50 BNH gift card. So here’s what you’re going to do. You’re going to go to the chutes.video website, shoot stop video website. And you’re going to tell us in the chat box, which video displays first on the portfolio page. So shoot, stop video website, go to the portfolio page and tell us in the chat box, which video displays first. So go ahead and do that. We’ll give you a moment to drop that into the chat box and we got people already doing that. So we’ll give a few more moments. I wear my shoot style videos, wag, but Hey, that came in the mail. But yeah, so here we go. So once again, because I’ve called out wrong winners in the past, I’m going to do that and do it.

Justin McAleece:

Yeah. It looks like Navi is a, is that, where are we in agreement about that? It’s the veteran’s day last stream. Yeah, Navi won this one. Winner, winner.

Sarah Marince:

Congratulations on your $50 B&H gift card. That’s exciting. Late Christmas present. Early new year gift. Sure. Awesome. Well, I’m going to take a moment now and go around the panel again, and everybody can just kind of tell us your social, your website, where we can find you, where people can contact you if they want to get in touch or have questions for you. And you can also drop it in our chat box for everybody here as well. So Peter, we will start with you.

Peter Bostwick:

Sure. You can find out more about us at youcanchoose.info. We’ve got information about, there are several videos, not nearly as nice as what you guys do, but we get some videos out there and we have a blog. So every week we write about things, just what we’re talking about, like we’re talking about today. So sign up for that newsletter and learn a little bit more about yourself.

Sarah Marince: Great, Chris?

Chris Vaglio:

So yeah I just dropped it in the chat. So I have a link tree there, which has a CA you can connect to me everywhere. I’m pretty easy to find all over LinkedIn, Instagram Facebook Twitter. I also do a podcast called the rocket growth agency podcast, which can be listened to wherever you listen to podcasts. And I also do a live show called rocket live every Tuesday at 4:00 PM Eastern standard time. And you can usually catch that on LinkedIn, YouTube, and Facebook. So that’s every Tuesday at four rocket live. And I usually interview other entrepreneurs owners, people who I think are rock stars and help other people become rockstars.

Sarah Marince:

That’s awesome. I actually learned about link tree after we had our webcast where we interviewed you and I started using link tree. You’ve got some great advice. Beth, your turn.

Beth Bostwick:

So I, I would have the same information that Peter had just so you can choose that info. But the thing I want to just close and saying is that you cannot get it wrong. There’s no such thing as a wrong choice or wrong decision. Okay? Every choice you make every moment of every day is important. And you benefit by choosing directionally where you want to go by all those little thoughts, but you can’t get it wrong. Sometimes you might veer off in one direction or another, but you will always get to where you want to go. If you just stay focused and stay intentional as somebody put in the chat, just think about where you want to go. That’s awesome. That’s great. That’s

Sarah Marince:

Excellent advice. That makes me feel good. I like that. Justin?

Justin McAleece:

Go watch Brick Madness! Go watch Brick Madness. That’s all I have to say. Watch it right after this.

Chris Vaglio:

Yeah, that’s awesome, man. I’m so psyched. Thank you.

Blake Barnett:

I would say, I mean, blaremedia.net is our website, but shoots.video is what we’re promoting and we’ll be launching a community wall in the next couple of days. And so if you have any questions, you can always go there. They’ll get answered. And that’s it shoots.video check us out.

Justin McAleece:

Yeah. So do we want to, do we want to give him one more chance? Beth and Peter, maybe just to people are setting, they’re going to be doing their new year’s resolutions. What what’s, what would be first on your list? What would you say this? Probably not very resolution or however you would explain that, but what would you want them to put on their list? If you could wave a magic wand, what would it be on there?

Beth Bostwick:

I want them to spend time in their head and be the fly on the wall. That’s pay attention, learn who you are. That’s what I would, I try with start start with, because it’s pretty hard to go someplace. That’s not true to you. So figure it out, learn who you are. There’s a relationship here because you will always make the right choice. If you’re listening to this, you don’t always make the right choice if you’re listening to this. So I would always never air here. If you pay attention to yourself,

Sarah Marince:

That takes time. Like that’s not going to happen overnight. Right? That’s going to take time.

Blake Barnett:

Well, it’s weird. Because Beth says that. But it’s really hard to do. I was told to like meditate a long time. Like, like I’ve had maybe like you shouldn’t have done that. You meditate.

Beth Bostwick:

No, no. Don’t do that. Admitted. Do what works for you. I ride a bike, not everybody rides a bike. Some people hate riding a bike.

Justin McAleece:

Blake, Beth can meditate while riding a bike. That’s what she’s saying. She’s a superpower.

Blake Barnett:

That’s right. Well, I used to tell my dad the same thing. Cause I wrote I’m a cyclist too, but I started meditating and I found like a, an app and it works out really good. But when I was trying to do it myself, many times, I just couldn’t do it. And now I do it. And I, I think it’s super beneficial.

Justin McAleece:

Yeah. It’s what works for your individual person knows that that’s part of the process of figuring out who you are and what you’re good at and what you like and, and really down and not just, you know, what your parents might have told you or what society might be telling you or what is happens to be cool that day of like knowing what you know. And that’s honestly what I look for in employees or actors. A lot of times I look for people not to plug break madness. I’m gonna try and do that. But most of them aren’t actors, but I knew that they knew themselves pretty well. And so I knew that if we put them in front of the camera, they would be comfortable just being themselves. And that was like really important to us when we are making it is getting our friends that happened to be like just comfortable in their own skin. I think there’s something powerful about that because they’ve done that introspection theater. So I would build on what Beth said there in terms of knowing yourself. And

Peter Bostwick:

If I could wave a magic wand, it would be to help people realize, thank you. It’s a beautiful line, Sarah, that they can in fact be their best, their own best friend. Most us don’t choose to be our own best friends. We choose to be our CRA credit, which is to be not especially helpful to ourselves. We say things to ourselves that no friend would get away from saying with ourselves. So if we can switch that around and love ourselves just a little bit more and give ourselves a break every once in a while, just kind of like a best friend would sit down and if you had a bad day, it wouldn’t say, well, you stupid. That’s what you do. That’s what you deserve. Right? They wouldn’t say that they would say no, you know, get in there and let’s do it again. You’ll be into for yourself. Is that consider yourself someone who needs a good friend and you can be that person.

Justin McAleece:

Yeah. There’s this weird thing where Jonathan Baylor who, who’s one of our close personal friends and we did this movie better with this coming on next month. And he was like, people would never say the terrible things to their dog that they would say to themselves because they haven’t witnessed their dog doing all these terrible things that they feel are terrible. Like whether it’s cheating, you know, the documentary is about food and, and shame and all these things. And it’s like, they didn’t eat that whole gallon of dryer’s ice cream and feel bad about themselves within it. But like a lot of people internalize this like sort of bad, just, just dirty feelings about themselves, but being able to pass that and be your own best friend, I think is really brilliant advice because so many people are crippled by their own, the stuff that they project on themselves that they don’t have to no, one’s telling them they have to do that and their own they’re their own worst critic in not a critical way in a, just a demeaning way, which is terrible. Yeah. That’s, that’s rough. And like you have tomorrow to just be like, no, I’m okay. I like, yeah, maybe that happened in the past, whatever it is. But like today I’m, I’m good. I’m good. Like let’s just move forward. Excellent. Good advice. Yeah. Thanks.

Chris Vaglio:

I mean, I would say just, you know what, just come with the mindset of be 1% better the next day, you know, be running 2% better today than you were yesterday. And then tomorrow I’ll be one, you know, just do you know, it’s exactly what Beth and Peter and just everybody saying the same thing, but it really is. It’s just be, be yourself. The, you do you like, don’t worry about everybody else. Like after everybody else, like screw it. You, you worry about that and be 1% better, that’s it do it in small increments and it will add up, you will see the results. It’s hard to see it when you’re like right on top of it, but it will happen. It really will. And life has got to happen around you and everything’s going to go haywire and everything’s going to man predictable. We don’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow. The future’s not written for any of us. And so all we can do is take it one day at a time, appreciate what we do have and appreciate the things we can do and just keep moving it forward and, and focus on the great things that are going on. And the negative things, try to push them out and turn them into negatives as fast as you can. That’s honestly, that’s how I’ve always done it. And you know, that’s just part of living life. It really is. Yeah. Look at you, man. You got a guitar in the background. Yeah.

Beth Bostwick:

Can’t get it wrong. Nobody else can be used. So it’s amazing. It’s just be you. So that’s so great, Chris, that you said that because you can’t get being you wrong. You really can’t. I mean, it’s, it’s hard to screw that one up, right? Sure. I think another thing that we didn’t touch on either is like reading. We should, I think we should all read more and always be like open to learning and being, you know, your we’re a constant student. We’re never, we’re never done learning, but then you’re just gonna have to have us back here and ask us those questions. Yeah. Right. 2021, set it up. That was great. Take us out Sarah

Sarah Marince:

Guys. Thank you so much. Seriously. I hope that this conversation left everyone who was watching, feeling rejuvenated, just inspired and ready to go into 2021. You know, a lot better than we are leaving 2020 you know, I’m sure just like it was for me, there were ups and downs. You know, there were the good moments in the bad moments, but I think we’re just ready. We’re ready to say goodbye to 2020. So everything you said, all three of you are, all of you were so inspiring and we needed it. We really needed it. So thank you so much. I hope you had a wonderful holiday and I hope you all have a great new year’s Eve, everyone, your assignment before the clock strikes midnight is to watch Brick Madness.

Sarah Marince:

Well, who knows what will happen in 2021 if we don’t watch Brick Madness.

Justin McAleece:

The linchpin to the entire success of the human race, right? Yeah. Michael Pitzer wants to know when it comes to beta SP yeah. Did you buy me the deck? I will put it on a tape. Let’s go. Yes. Yes, yes.

Sarah Marince:

So much everyone happy new year. We will see you in 2021.

 

 

 

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