We welcome back Chris, Denise, Peter and Beth to talk about 2021 and all the success and challenges this year has brought us all and how we can approach 2022.
Panelists
Transcript from Talk
Bonnie Marie Williams:
Hey, everybody happy last Wednesday of 2021. And welcome to crew talk brought to you by Shoots.Video. I’m Bonnie or Bonnie Marie Williams, if you’re my agent or my mother when I’m in trouble. And this is our last episode of 2021, which is kind of crazy to think about. I think it’s safe to say we were all so happy to send 2020 away, but how are we feeling this year with 2021 and going into 2022? And that’s what we’re gonna be talking about today. Taking a look into the new year with an honest assessment, how we can better ourselves. And if I might add how we can show ourselves some kindness and grace too. So if you have any questions for our panel, you can type them right in our question and answer box in the chat in here. And I have my list of questions as well, but we always love to ask the questions that you have and what you wanna know. So we’re gonna go ahead and reintroduce the panel. That’s returned to us here today. And when we do go ahead and tell us a little bit about yourself, you know, who you are, where you are and what you do, and would anybody like to go first wanted to offer that up? Yeah, Chris. Sure.
Chris Vaglio:
I’ll go first. Why not? Okay. So yeah, thanks again for having me on great to see everybody and yeah, happy new year. So my name is Chris Vaglio and I am a business mentor that works with create professionals to help them build a rock star brand. As I like to say to help them get noticed, feel more confident and bring in more clients. And my background prior to starting rocket growth, a agency was, I was a video producer editor for over 20 years. I was a co-founder of Grace Guy films in Rockaway New Jersey before successfully exiting in 2020 in starting my new company, rocket growth agency. So that’s a real quick bit about me.
Bonnie Marie Williams:
Great. Thank you. Would anybody like to go next? Let’s open up. Whoever wants to say hi. Yeah, sure. I’ll go. Oh, go ahead
Peter and Beth Bostwick:
Please. So, so we’re Peter and Beth Bostwick. We were here last year and our background is we start companies and, and mostly tech companies. We were in the bay area, but we just recently moved back to Colorado, which is where I grew up and I met Peter. And we’re really all about your thinking and, you know, focusing on what it is that you want in life. So that’s what we’ll, we’ll probably talk a little bit about tonight. Help Peter. Yeah, basically we’re coaches for companies and for individuals to help them get their heads heads in the right mindset so that they can achieve things that they’re excited about achieving.
Bonnie Marie Williams:
I love it. Very nice.
Geoffrey Calhoun:
Thanks for having me on Bonnie. I’m Geoffrey Calhoun, host of the successful screenwriter podcast. I’m also the author of the best online book. The guide for every screenwriter, which was listed as one of the best screenwriting books of all time by the book authority. And on my show, I interview Hollywood screenwriters, indie screenwriters, producers, directors, actors, about how they break into the business.
Bonnie Marie Williams:
Awesome. And you’ve got a sweet baby Yoda back there. I’ve got the same one in my booth right over there. So, all right. Who would like to go next?
Bonnie Marie Williams:
Yes, that’s right.
Denise Powers:
Hi, my name is Denise Powers. I, I, I’m not an expert giver of advice like everybody else on the panel. So I guess I’ll be like the Guinea pig. You guys can, can advise me as like your, your sample. I, I found I’m a, a writer and and director, and I’ve done a number of short films and have done some documentaries as well. And I just sort of in the pandemic mode last year, stumbled upon the shoots dot video you know, webcasts and found this nice community. And it was, I think in fact, I revisited the last year’s webcast of the, you know, year in review and how do we go into 2021? And so I remember watching it last year and just kind of refreshed my memory. And so, yeah, I think that’s been like really helpful to me in terms of moving forward into the, into 2021.
Bonnie Marie Williams:
Fantastic. This is a nice intersection of things, really interests me is mindset. And, you know I don’t wanna say just positive thinking, but reframing a lot of things and that motivation, but also the industry side of things. So this is, I was really, really looking forward to this and everybody’s been really great, so awesome. I have a question that I would love to open up the floor or two, cause I think this is something that we’ve all discussed and things that we all have experience with is, you know, everybody says consistency is key, right? Like consistency is key. If you wanna keep going. And consistency is key if you want your goals. But I think a lot of us have a hard time getting started. Cause we see the big picture here and we go, you know, okay, I understand I need to be consistent, but what’s the first thing I can do to get started so I can be consistent. Mm-Hmm <affirmative> so I would love to just hear any advice that any of you have or any experiences that you might have in that, any words of wisdom anything along that line, cuz I think that’s a great place to get to.
Peter and Beth Bostwick:
So can I jump in first cuz I feel like what we talk about sets the seed for other things going forward. So, so we talk a lot about how important your thoughts are and the, the question that we keep coming back to again and again is what do you want? And if you don’t know what you want, it’s pretty darn hard to be consistent about whatever that is. And so I think if you really start with that and guess what that can change what you wanted last year could be very different than what you want this year. And that’s okay. There’s no judgment here. This is all about you and what you want. And I think that if you can answer that, that question truthfully for yourself and really feel what it is that you want and be open to possibilities, that’s where you start to build your base. I think in which to build a consistency. I love that. Okay. Yeah.
Chris Vaglio:
Yeah. I think that’s, that’s really great. Beth, that’s, that’s really solid advice. I, I would to piggyback off that, I think one of the things that I have fallen victim to this many times over and I just keep coming back to the same thing as to is consistency is key, but what we often do because we’re human beings and this is what we do is we begin to, yes, there’s the big picture. And we see every, we see all the possibilities and we begin to already feel overwhelmed before we’ve even done anything. And before we’ve even taken that first step and that oftentimes will create that like that, oh God, you know, that, that feeling that you get of, like, this is, this is too much. Or you know, I just can’t do this. And you know, we, we come up with excuses for us.
Chris Vaglio:
It’s just what we do as, as human beings. But one of the things that my, my mentors have continually told me and I have to remind myself is keep it really simple. Like keep it really simple, start slow, start with the simplest thing and start there because it’s all about, you know, getting one, she start beginning to do it and get over that, that first hurdle, which is usually the hardest one, cuz believe me’s gotta be so many more hurdles. I mean it’s endless, that’s that’s life, but just getting past that first one, keep it really simple. And then you can, you can begin to establish a rhythm and a cadence for yourself that fits for you. Right. That it’s also another important thing is, is I love what you’re saying there, Bonnie is like, everybody says consistency is key and it’s true, but it has to work for you. Not what everybody else is telling you, not what all the experts here are saying. <Laugh>, you know, we’re here to give advice, but we’re all we’re doing is sharing experiences of what happened to us and how we’ve helped other people and seen some other the results, but really keep it simple, you know, do what works for you.
Peter and Beth Bostwick:
That’s brilliant. Yes. <laugh> right back at same
Chris Vaglio:
Have to remind myself all the time. <Laugh> I have it written it just keep it simple. Yeah.
Denise Powers:
I, I, I guess for me too, like I don’t have so much of a problem getting started. My problem is more the consistency in, in which case I it’s too, just a permanent problem, you know? So you just kind of start over, right? So you just remind yourself of what the good habits are and, you know, attend a webcast like this to, you know, refresh your memory about how to, how to do this kind of stuff. But yeah, in terms of like keeping it simple, just like I find it helpful to break things down into really, really minute tasks, you know? And if, if you know, I’m having a bad day or a bad week and, and every, you know, small task seems big, then I try to break it down even smaller. And then, you know, like sometimes it’s even like putting like, like eat on the list or, you know, <laugh> just putting something on the list that, you know, you can cross off, you know, just give you that feeling of crossing something off.
Denise Powers:
And yeah. And so, and then just, you know, not beating yourself up if you’re not able to con to achieve this like perfect lock to up consistency, you know, I mean, it makes sense that you have these things where you ebb and flow and, and maybe, you know, the fact that you’re not being consistent as telling you something, you know, and, and you have to sort of step back and listen to that. Like, what does that mean? Is it, am, am I sure that I want this and what’s, what’s behind why I’m distracting myself or why this has been on the list for a really long time. And it just kind of keeps moving to new lists without ever getting crossed off. I, I think that’s what I try to do.
Bonnie Marie Williams:
Ooh. So we have, you know, what is it we want take a step, but also have that self-awareness to take an honest look at what’s going on and say, okay, I’ve had this on here for so long. Why am I not doing it? What’s the reason behind that? I think that’s really, really smart because we can say, you know, I wanna do this, but if we’re not doing it, like you said, Denise, I think there’s something bigger at play. If we take an honest look at it, kind of take a step back and go, okay, am I afraid of this? Am I afraid of what will happen after this? You know, sometimes talking about it with else, which is kind of what we’re doing here tonight can be really helpful for that as well. That’s great.
Geoffrey Calhoun:
I might, I mean, I, I have an idea. Yeah.
Bonnie Marie Williams:
I wanna hear it.
Geoffrey Calhoun:
I think I think strategizing is super important. And and building off of, of finding your goals and everything everybody is said is, is great advice. One key to consistency that I find is really habitualizing your process. So discovering what your process is, and then making it sacred in a way that when you are doing it, it, it becomes this habit. And for me with writing, I have a very specific playlist that I use that I only listen to that music while I’m writing, so that I trigger the mind of this is what we’re doing now. And you can do that with anything. I mean, I know people that when they’re working in their office, they have a specific type of aromatherapy that brings them into that space. I think habitualizing your process can really help you with that key to consistency.
Peter and Beth Bostwick:
Yeah. And I, I’m gonna bring a little, a little contrarian to, to the party here and that’s new, that’s new and it’s really all about being present. Right? Cause so everything you said, Jeffrey, a hundred percent agreed having a process is, is, is wonderful. Knowing what you want is, is incredibly powerful. But sometimes especially when you’re not sure what to do next, if you could kind of distill that down into being present into what it’s, what, what, what do I do next, right? Instead of what do I do to get this big vision is what do I do next? And kind of mic. Like I think it was mentioned before kind of microing it down so that you’re really in touch with who you are and what you want to accomplish in this minute. Mm-Hmm <affirmative> right. That’s not gonna help you with a consistency piece, but it’s gonna, you get to the point where you can then achieve that consistency. But, but sometimes I think that’s how you start off the conversation. How do you get to that point? And sometimes you have to be in the moment in the present in order to make that happen.
Peter and Beth Bostwick:
That’ll add just a little bit more, a little, a little bit more Denise. I think you, you mentioned it and I’m not sure that if everybody heard, heard it, but you need to give yourself credit for what you do. You have to pat yourself on the back, you have to say, yeah, you know what? I ate that breakfast. I, I, I washed a little laundry, you know, take credit for these things because every day you’re living your life and, and if you don’t celebrate what you’ve accomplished, it’s kind of hard cuz nobody else will, if you don’t. So you, we call it be your own best friends. And that’s just so, so important, especially when you’re trying to work through what it is that you want to accomplish. So
Bonnie Marie Williams:
Yeah. I wanna just piggyback off of some of that and share like a personal thing with that. I was really into working out at the gym and weights and then I fell out of that habit. I stopped making it the habit of going every single day. And I think there was some mental health stuff at play. Absolutely. And I got out of that and I tried to get back into it and it didn’t feel the same as it had, like in 2019 I stopped going to the gym as much. And when I did, I was miserable. I said, you know what, what is happening with this? And I didn’t love it the way that I used to when I was in that habit and I was going at four 30 in the morning, I didn’t sleep a lot. I was going then, cuz I knew if I go now I can go to work, get it done out of the way.
Bonnie Marie Williams:
And it, it was a way to wake me up and everything. And then I started working from home full time and I stopped doing that as much. And so 2019, you know, I just didn’t go. And then 2020, when everything closed, I thought, you know, how am I gonna get back on track? And I tried to do it at home and it just, I fell out of that consistent habit. And then I had a goal this year was to start working out again. And I said, okay, like, how am I gonna do that? What I’m doing is not working. And then I found like an at home workout program that I started doing in April and I got everything for it. And I said, as if I can just do a half an hour a day, I don’t have to leave the house. Can’t really go back to the gym.
Bonnie Marie Williams:
They’re still closed. But now I’ve gotten back into that habit and now it’s more consistent for me. And it, it was about like even earlier today I didn’t wanna do it, but I, I said, I’m gonna feel better once I’m done, I’m gonna be miserable while I’m doing it because it’s warm and I’m sweating and gross. And I don’t like it, but I will feel better when I’m done. And so having, just getting back into that habit and now it’s, it’s a habit for me I’ve been consistent. Does anybody have any sort of stories like that at that you’ve applied in your own life or your business or if it is your health or something like that? I would just love to hear another personal experience with that. And if not, it’s totally cool. <Laugh> no pressure.
Peter and Beth Bostwick:
I don’t, I don’t wanna hog the floor, but yes, just like you, we had a, a gym we had to stop going to. And before we moved, we were very consistent. We had a great workout that we ran through and it was a, in a place that we were staying. It was a great place we could go in and outside all year round. Well, now that we’re here in Colorado, it’s a lot colder and we don’t have that specialist space. So it’s been like, now we’re trying to reformulate. Okay. How do you do it? So we’re kind of in that, that stage, cuz you know, it’s been beautiful out here until just a couple weeks ago and so he could go outside, well now, now it’s a little tougher to do that. It’s like 15 degrees. And so, you know, even breathing out there is not great. So it’s like, okay, how do we get this in? So, but it, you you’re right, Bonnie, I think the thing so important is that you, you build consistency, but I think part of getting to the consistency is kind of muddling through if you will, what it is that you’re trying to accomplish. And, and does that make sense for what you want right now today? So
Bonnie Marie Williams:
Yeah, absolutely. My next 70, but anybody else wanna piggyback off of that? Yeah,
Geoffrey Calhoun:
I think I think tenacity is a big thing to have when you’re really trying to form that habit and make whatever that promise to yourself is to, to keep going is you have to be tenacious. You have to have that, that Naqui quit or not let self give up so that you can continue getting better. I mean, when I first started writing, it would take me, I mean, we’re talking over 15 years ago, it would take me eight hours to write a page. You know, now I can write 30 pages in a couple of days, you know, but that was through really sitting down and, and not giving up and not putting and, and, and making that promise to myself that I’m going to sit down and I’m going to keep getting better and better. So I think tenacity is definitely something that you have to, to really harness in order to keep going. Mm-Hmm <affirmative>
Peter and Beth Bostwick:
Absolutely. And it’s a, there’s a book I read, not that long ago. I think it was called tiny habits and it’s about a guy who wanted to go to the gym and, and work out. And he, he found himself never being able to do it. And cuz he always had this big vision of, okay, I’m gonna go and you know, work out for an hour, you know, get big and strong and all these big accomplishments. And so what he did is he said for himself, I’m gonna have a, a goal of doing one pushup a day. And that’s, that’s the top of his goal. All he does is have to do is one pushup and you can do one pushup. Right? And then he found that when he got down there and did a pushup, well sometimes he’d do a couple of extra pushups and maybe do a sit up and a pull up or do other things.
Peter and Beth Bostwick:
And it just kind of built and built and built, but he never changed his goal. The goal was still one pushup a day. So you, you never, you know, it’s not like, okay, I ran a mile today. So now the next time I have to run two miles or so I’m a failure, right? So it really diminished the whole pressure of, of, of continuing to achieve. It just kept it simple. And you did what you can in the moment to make it happen. So to me, that’s a, a very powerful tool to, to, to keep your, keep your initial goals tiny so that you can achieve more of what you want without the pressure of making it happen. <Affirmative>
Bonnie Marie Williams:
And that kind of goes back to the whole idea we had of getting overwhelmed with just starting, but doing one pushup. Isn’t super overwhelming. That’s something most people can do. Just like you said, is Denise, I cut you off. I’m so sorry.
Denise Powers:
Oh no, no, no. Not at all. I was just gonna say that it also keeps the fun in it too. Like one thing that, I mean I’m a manic swimmer. I love swimming. But I, I live in Paris where it’s really not pleasant to swim. It’s like the pools are overcrowded. It’s chaos, nobody segregates by speed. Everybody stands at the end of the pool and talks. It’s just, it’s awful. So I would say at these goals for myself, like, okay, I’m just gonna go and I, if I can do 500 meters, that’s fine. You know, it’ll be a good day. And if I get to the end of 500 meters and like, I’m not completely like frazzled and wanting to kill somebody, then like I can do another 50 meters and then another 50 meters. And, and so like each 50 meters that I did on top of the, the basic agreement, you know, which is a little bit more than one pushup. You know, but cause like, you know, I mean one pushup is a little, you know, like it depends on you are right. You know? And, and so just like, okay, well then everything is gravy. And it’s like, you really feel like, okay, this is really, this is I’m enjoying, I’m doing this because I’m enjoying this mm-hmm <affirmative> and if I’m not enjoying it, I stop, you know, and then that’s it. And that obviously doesn’t work for everything, but for some things it’s yeah,
Peter and Beth Bostwick:
Well, you know, it’s, it’s setting expectations and, and, or not setting them or setting ’em so low, you know, I mean, expectations I’ve come to realize of yourself are really limiting. You can have goals and work towards things, but if you have an expectation that you’re gonna do something a certain way, that really limits you in terms of being open to just like you’re talking about Denise and you start with, you know, I’m gonna try a basic level of 500 meters. That sounds like a whole lot to me. But <laugh>, it’s just like, you know, you start and then anything above that’s gravy and that’s, that’s the great thing about reinforcing these things that you want to do is start with something small and then you give yourself credit for that. You, I got it. And then it get a little bit more, even better. That’s gravy, you know, I love gravy. <Laugh> so much nicer. Just drive bread, whatever <laugh>
Bonnie Marie Williams:
I would love to piggyback off of that because I know it’s, you know, the new year’s coming and typically people set resolutions of I’m gonna lose weight. I’m gonna work out. You know, I’ve done that for a very, very long time, but I would love to ask our panel, if you believe in setting new year’s resolutions or if you don’t, what do you do instead or not do if you call it something different? What is your thought behind that? And expand a little bit on why I,
Chris Vaglio:
Well, I’ll just say I’ll start off, but I, I don’t really set new year’s resolutions as much as I just sort of create the goals I’d like to accomplish in a year because I, I don’t know, just the, the, the word resolution and all that. For me, it just, it’s never really worked. So I, you know, I just, I create like, Hey, here’s what I’d like to accomplish this year. And much like how everybody’s been talking about here is, is pretty much the same attitude that, that I shared. It’s like, listen, I’m, I’m gonna do my best to hit these goals. I’m gonna try, I’m gonna do the things I’m gonna do. I’m gonna hit Hills. I’m gonna hit valleys. But those are, these are the expectations I’ve set up for myself. Doesn’t mean I’m not gonna do it. But I think it’s just important to like, say celebrate the wins, which is what, you know, Peter and Beth been talking about because the wins, no matter how small they are, because usually it’s the tiniest things that turn out later on to be the biggest things or have the biggest impact on you.
Chris Vaglio:
And if you look back and go, wow, I did this panel in January or, you know, end of December. And and then it turned into who ne who knows, you know, maybe I, I started working with two or three people or somebody decided to join a group I’m doing, or somebody was able to make a great introduction. But if I hadn’t done this one thing, it wouldn’t have led to that. That’s a huge win. And, but just the fact of doing like the smaller wins, things like that, I think that’s really important. So for me, I, I think it’s, it’s however you wanna frame it. If you wanna call it a resolution, once again, it always comes back to what works best for you. What’s the word? What are the things that are gonna help you achieve the things you wanna do for me, it’s writing down.
Chris Vaglio:
If you top five things I’d like to accomplish in, in the, in the next year. And I feel like that they’re realistic, they’re obtainable goals, but at the end of the day, if I, if I don’t hit them, I’m not necessarily gonna like, you know, oh my gosh, the sky is falling. I’m just gonna, you know, pack it in. Like, because there’s lessons to be learned in everything you do. And that’s also another huge win. So that’s just how I frame it. I, like I said, everybody’s different. And I think it’s a personal, I think it’s a personal choice, honestly, to, to what helps you get to where you wanna be
Bonnie Marie Williams:
Love that celebrate the wins. That’s, that’s a great way of looking at that. Thank you.
Chris Vaglio:
Yeah, absolutely.
Peter and Beth Bostwick:
And, and I think it is all about what you want. Right. So can consider it a, a resolution or a goal, but it’s, it’s really, and certainly it doesn’t, shouldn’t be once a year thing, right. This should be a regular thing where you look at celebrate, appreciate, have gratitude, and then think about, okay, what’s next? What, what is it that I wanna accomplish? What’s important to me and why is it important to me? And then I use that to move my all forward. Yeah. I think resolutions worked against me. <Laugh> I never always felt like I failed if I use that word. I dunno why. But I, but I think it’s, it’s okay to change directions, you know, it’s, it’s, I guess maybe the word resolutions feels like it’s gotta work. You gotta do it. And there’s an obligation to it. Whether you wanna do it or not, at some point, I mean maybe in March, it’s like, wow. I mean, I want gain weight instead of lose weight or something, you know, <laugh>. So I think that being open and being flexible is what’s really important here because you changed. I mean, I’m not the person I was last year. I’m certainly not the person I was 20 years ago, you know, take advantage of all the stuff that you’ve learned, cuz it is all learning. These are all experiences we’re having. And I think appreciating ’em for that and not judging them really is really important to keep yourself moving forward.
Denise Powers:
I think sometimes, sometimes I do resolutions and sometimes I do own, so I think I probably will this year. And when I do them they’re like really hyper detailed and I guess they’re more like task lists. Like I, I break it down again cuz it’s also a moment to say, okay, is this realistic? Like all like when I take this like bigger picture goal and I’m breaking it down, is this actually something that could happen, you know, in what is a reasonable timeframe for this? And so, but it also includes other things about how I wanna live my life, right. So it’s not just work related. So it’s also you know, maybe go and get a massage once a month or, you know, things, things like that, which I know sounds dumb, but like if I don’t, if I don’t agree to do that kind of self care, it often doesn’t happen or it’s the first thing that gets caught outta my life.
Denise Powers:
Mm-Hmm <affirmative> and I forget how important that is. But like last year I didn’t do resolutions because what I was facing was just kind of a more profound existential crisis. I was be between continents. I was in the process of moving from Europe to the United States. You know, it’s a, it’s a move that I had planned on making for a long and was like a hundred percent behind and really wanted to do it. And then, you know, got caught during the pandemic. And so I was like between continents, between jobs, I had nowhere to live. The person I was living with in Los Angeles told me not to come there because you didn’t want me to bring the virus. And so I literally had nowhere to go, you know, and, you know, once something like that happens, like there’s just really nowhere to go, but up and and you know, and so I had to sort of make some decisions.
Denise Powers:
Like I, I understood from the very beginning that this whole thing was something that was gonna derail me for not just a couple weeks that this was gonna be something that potentially affected the next several years, if not, you know, the rest of my life. And so I just had to really think long and hard about where I wanted to be. And ultimately that’s kind of what I dedicated 20, 21 to, and ended up moving back to, to France. And so you know, I had a took a long time. Like I, I, I like what Beth is saying about being open to change in your mind because I’m, I pride myself on being somebody that like, once I decide to do something, you know, like I stick to it and I set the goals and I make it happen and, you know, and, and I was on a project and just life changed and it made me realize that, okay, maybe this is not my priority right now, maybe my priorities different and they need to be open to that.
Denise Powers:
So then that meant having to kind of reinvest myself in, moving back to Europe and, you know, and so that’s why I didn’t bother to set resolutions cuz it’s like, that’s just like enough. Right. That’s enough for one year <laugh> I don’t need anything else. So, so the question for you, are you happier? Yeah. Yeah. I, I do. I mean, there’s, there’s a trade off, right? I mean, like there’s, there’s certain things that I feel like I’ve had to kind of say goodbye to, or to put on permanent hold, do certain professional objectives that I had that I was wanting to pursue here. But this just puts me on a different path, you know, that also makes me happy and yeah. And you know, who knows what will be in five years, but I, I, I guess I was just, I was allowing myself to get a little bit self conscious of, of like, okay, well everybody knew I was moving to the United States that I was going to Los Angeles list. You know, I was there like four months and then went back to France to do some other stuff and then got stuck there. And so everyone’s like, well, what are you doing back here? Like you weren’t, you’re not supposed to be here, you know? And, but you just have to ignore that, I guess, you know, and yes you do. It’s all about them.
Peter and Beth Bostwick:
It’s not about you, you know, that’s keep it here. Yeah. So, and sometimes this overrides things in a, not a great way that this, this, this is sometimes north, this is always north near true north is really listening to yourself. And so it’s great that you did that. Denise. That’s amazing.
Geoffrey Calhoun:
Good for you. I like this panel. I, I, I, I have to say that I like Chris said it, resolutions can be a choice and, and I think everybody has great advice. I think it’s funny when I follow Denise, cuz we have similar, like she’s like my spirit guide. So when this year with resolutions, it’s pretty, pretty interesting to me cause I’ve really been focusing on, you know, everybody says ROI return on investment and I’ve really been looking at return on time. I suffered a cardiac event this year. So thought I was dying ended up in the hospital and and we’ve all dealt with loss. You know, we’ve all lost P this has been a really hard couple of years. And so after going through that, after saying goodbye to people and not thinking that, you know, I thinking that this was it.
Geoffrey Calhoun:
I really, I came out of that. And I’m still coming out of it, but I came out of that with a different appreciation for time. I’ve always kind of been the guy, put my head down and, and just worked, worked work, worked and, and never stopped up to breathe. And I’m sure Beth is gasping at that notion cuz I’ve never really sat down and appreciated my successes for me. It’s always been like, no, I have been there. I’ve been, it’s like I’m in that car and my successes are just going by as I’m going forward. So so now I’ve really sat back and I would say not, not setting resolutions as much as really trying to take as take every drop of this life as I can, even when I take days off where I’m like, you know what, today is an Xbox day sitting down and enjoying that and bringing it in and understanding that that is part of restoring balance to this work life that I have and not being like, oh, I was just being lazy and unmotivated like, no, you need to have the downtime. So I really am looking at return on time and what am I doing that I’m getting the most out of this life from, because really it is it is so fleeting. So I don’t mean to be the, the dude that brings everybody down. But I am the writer of the group. So I think that’s on brand. But <laugh> but but that’s, that’s, that’s, that’s my honest that’s my honest answer. I’m keeping it real well.
Peter and Beth Bostwick:
And I think Jeffrey, you bring up a really, really good point. I just think this is so important relative to the pandemic, because what you’re talking about return on time, I think is something that a whole lot of people have been doing in the last, I’d say 12, 18 months because we’ve had to stay home and we’ve had to upend our lives in such different ways that it’s really caused us to really question well, was I really doing what I wanted to do or was it worth my time? And I think you’re just a great an example of somebody who’s done that. And I think that’s why you have all these people leaving jobs and not going back to ’em because they decided, you know what, not for me, I’m not gonna do that anymore. My time is more valuable someplace else. And so I think that’s exactly, and, and by the way, I would, would encourage other people to continue to do that for themselves and make those choices because there’s great stuff out there. The world is a wonderful place if you choose to engage. So, and don’t wait till you get the heart attack. So exactly. <Laugh> Chris, you were gonna say something, I think,
Chris Vaglio:
No, I’m just I’m agree. And I, I love that cuz I, I that’s, that’s such a great very poignant thing to say is the return on time. I think that’s, it’s, I think that through all of this, you know, and obviously through, you know, what whichever’s experience you, I think you begin to feel your mortality a lot more. And and yes, you, you to really respect time and because it’s the, you know, as everybody says, but it’s true, you can never get it back once it’s spent, it’s gone and that’s it. And I think it’s, I think that’s a really great outlook to have. And I know you, you said you don’t wanna be a downer Jeffrey, but I actually don’t think it’s a downer at all. I think it’s a, it’s a wonderful reminder of how it’s I, how important it is because that’s all we have, you know, how do we, how do we use the time we have left? You know? And so I think it is, I think it’s actually a really positive thing. So I appreciate you bringing that up.
Bonnie Marie Williams:
Absolutely. Thank you for sharing that time is the resource we don’t get back. Like everybody has touched on that’s it’s finite, like you said, once it’s gone, it’s gone. I actually have a question that ties into Denise and Jeffrey’s stories. If you, if you have a story you’d like to share something along those lines about, I phrased it as turning an obstacle into an opportunity, but if you had something like that in your own life and how you were able to possibly reframe it, look at something, look at it from a new perspective, you know, how have a new appreciation for something you know, any, anything like that that people watching might find inspirational or maybe it’s something that they might be able to identify with that maybe they’ve never said to somebody else or just connects with them on a, on a new level. I would really, I would love to hear anything like that.
Chris Vaglio:
I mean, I’m, I’m happy to show are my, my quick story. Not that I don’t want to Bo guard the the mic at all, but I would say so what happened to me in 2020 you know, like everybody was affected, but I and this goes along with what you’re saying Jeffrey with with about time you know, after 20 years of, of running a company that I co-founded with my best friend from college Grace Guy films, I just, I had the very difficult decision. It was difficult, but yet it wasn’t, you know, it went through all the pro, but I, I decided I wanted to leave a company. I poured my, my heart, sweat, tears, blood, everything into to start something new because honestly at the end of the day, I just wasn’t happy anymore doing that. I wanted to do something else.
Chris Vaglio:
I felt a different pole and I, and this, what I’m doing now is rocket was something I kept saying, I’ll do it in 10 years from now. I’ll do it. When I retire from grace, I’ll do it. I’ll do it later. I’ll do it later. And, and quite honestly, that was the thing I just said, why am I really waiting? I’ve done 20 years. I N you know, I’m just, I’m personally, I’m ready. Tomo. I’m emotionally, I’m ready. I’m ready to move on. Like, I know I built this. This is great. It’s here. My business partner and he wants to keep it going great. Like, God bless. I want you to keep it going, but I, I was ready to move on. And so I made the decision to do that. And it was hard. It was really difficult, but ultimately at the end of the day once I did it, I immediately felt like a new person.
Chris Vaglio:
You know, I felt completely re-energized in every way possible, even, you know, even more creative than I even felt before. Like everything kind of like started coming out. And and so for me, it was very, it was very, very important that I did it and where I go now and where the loads where the, the roads lead and the opportunities like, because I’m doing this are, I don’t don’t know, it’s, I’m actually this whole year for me this whole year and a half has been an, an amazing journey of things I’ve never explored or haven’t explored about myself or things that I’m capable of in a very, very, very long time. And it’s been a, it’s been a process of self discovery of in, in renewal. And so I just, that’s what I, I think I, if anybody gets anything outta that story, it’s that it’s hard to make the change.
Chris Vaglio:
It’s not always easy, but if it’s something you feel you have to do in your heart of heart, because it’s going to be a thing that makes you happy, that’s the key it’s gonna make you happy, then you should absolutely do it. And going back to what Jeffrey said, time is precious, right? So, you know, no better than the present <laugh> to make something happen. So that, that’s a quick bit about my, my similar kind of experience with time and not waiting and moving on and, you know, just going for it and all that.
Geoffrey Calhoun:
That’s me. I, I, I think that <affirmative>, you never know who you’re going to affect, who you’re going to touch. You know, I do the podcast, I wrote, I wrote the book I’ve, I’ve taught seminars and I’ve, I’ve traveled and I mentored students. And, but you, but you don’t know what you’re doing. And I always believe you can either help build the world or tear it down. Mm-Hmm <affirmative>. So I’ve always tried to come from a, from an angle of really helping people and being kind of that, that beacon of hope or light that, that I always wanted when I, and up and coming screenwriter. So I, I, I, I got a email which then ended up in a phone call from a mother who told me her son, who was autistic failed out of film school and FA, and he always wanted to be a screenwriter.
Geoffrey Calhoun:
He, and he failed out of it and they couldn’t teach him. So a friend of their family recommended my book. She got the book, he read the book and started writing the screenplay. After that she read the book and started co-writing it with them. And she called me up and she was in tears because she was able to work with her son in a capacity that they had never done before. And like, you know, it just like it hits you. And it’s just like that one thing, if I never hear anything else from anybody ever again about, about that, that’s all I needed because I got to touch that person’s life in a special way. And just, it just feels good. It just feels right. And so I that’s, what I would say is you just, you know, when you’re out there and you’re doing your thing, you, you don’t know who you’re affecting, but you are affecting someone and it’s just, how are you doing it? So that’s, that’s my little, my
Peter and Beth Bostwick:
That’s, that’s very, very powerful. It’s, it’s so special when you can have an impact on people. And, you know, that’s really why we started. You can choose the organization that, that, that we founded five or six years ago is because I used to suffer tremendously from depression. I used to have a hard time getting up in the morning and talking to people and doing all that stuff because I, I continually beat myself up. I, I just, that’s just the, the way that I was raised or the way that I learned to live. And it was even though we were running a software company, I was, you know, or Silicon valley, you know, successful people on the outside. That’s what it looked like. But inside it was just completely broken. And I just had this revelation that I, what I think about matters and that I can choose what I think about.
Peter and Beth Bostwick:
And that to me, was like the broke open, that, that I have the ability to, to make a difference in my life. And I’ve made a difference in my life. And I was where I was because of what I was thinking and the words that I had growing about me. And, and this is something that just had a transformational impact on me. And I wanted to make sure that I had the ability to tap people on the shoulder and say, you can choose, right? You don’t have to do this to yourself. You can be your best friend. You can power empower yourself. You don’t have to disempower yourself and say how stupid you are or what bad decisions you’ve made and go over and over and over again. So to us, that was really the, the message. And, and we do not quite the, the scope that you have Jeffrey, but we do have seminars. We do have weekly meetings with, with folks and they come to us and they say, oh my gosh, you’ve made such a big difference in our lives because you you’ve helped us to become empowered and realize that yes, we can choose. And just that little phrase you can choose has just been, been monumentally impactful for, for me and for so many people that we’ve touched mm-hmm <affirmative>.
Bonnie Marie Williams:
And I wanna expand on that a little bit. I was trying not to cry with that story. Thank you, Jeffrey, for sharing that. My sister’s on the spectrum and I’ve worked with kids on the spectrum for a long time. And so that means a lot to me. I don’t like crying in front of people unless I’m on stage and it feels fine, and I’m working on it with my therapist. Don’t worry. But thank you for sharing that, that really like, thank you. That meant a lot. I wanna expand on, we’ve talked now a few times about being your own best friend and what, what does that mean to you? What does that look like to you? You know, I, I lost my best friend of 20 years this year. So there has been a bit of a, a shift with relying less on that person and more on myself with a lot of things. And that has been very interesting. It was something I never thought would happen, but I think a lot of us have experienced loss the last few years in different ways. But I would love to hear about what that means to you. Cause we’ve talked about it a few times, but for somebody who’s watching, they may not really understand what that means or really understand what it means to us specifically and how we apply that in our, in our meeting tonight.
Peter and Beth Bostwick:
You wanna say something being your best friend? Oh, well, I mean, I, for, you know, you, you will live a much better life if you are your bone best friend, I guess. I think again, I’m not exactly sure what you were asking are saying Bonnie that’s why I’m oh
Bonnie Marie Williams:
Yeah. I’m I was emotional, but <laugh>
Peter and Beth Bostwick:
No, no, no. I was just trying to understand, well, what does being your best friend mean? Right.
Bonnie Marie Williams:
Yeah. What does that mean to you and how you’ve applied that to your own life or your business? You know, how does that, especially with everything happening right now, you know, in these, I’m not, not gonna say unprecedented times, but, you know, I just did, but I think that sort of thing can really help a lot when things kind of feel upside down. So what does that mean to you in your life and your business?
Peter and Beth Bostwick:
So I’ll just say the time that Peter was working through this, I had no experience with depression in my life. I just was like, come on, you know, I’ve always been very motivated. I’ve always, I’ve had perhaps too much drive arguably, but trying to understand the, a whole issue around depression was a challenge for me. And so I had to step back and say, okay, Beth, you don’t know this, you don’t know what’s going on. You just need to kind of, you still love this guy. He’s as frustrated as you are with him. You just have to step back and, and, and see how you can support and learn and listen. And so for me, if I, at being your own best friend in that moment, when, with my frustration, it was actually years, not moments, but in that timeframe, I had to learn how to step back from who I thought I was supposed to be and trust myself in learning to list.
Peter and Beth Bostwick:
And that I was capable of doing that because, well, frankly, I probably wasn’t the best listener for a lot of years and there. And so it was really trusting myself. It was stepping back and saying, okay, Beth, you’re good at lots of things, but you’re not good at everything. You need to kind of appreciate that you need to learn and not know, and just let go. And that was a difficult process for a person who was a driver, a pusher. And I would argue a plus plus kind of person. I now have downgraded myself to an a minus I’m really good at the B plus, but, but learning how out to trust myself to choosing your path and believe in myself and let go of controlling and driving everything. That was a really challenging time for me, very much. I would argue in the line on the other end of not knowing at all where you’re going and being confused and just having too much stuff coming at you.
Peter and Beth Bostwick:
I don’t don’t think they’re any different. It’s just, one’s a little bit more of stepping back from that. And the other one is moving forward and, and being okay with the ambiguity and such. And so I think that that’s, you know, I think Chris, you had mentioned it, that we’re here living our life and, and the experiences we have really important learnings. They’re not failures, they’re not bad things. They’re learnings and, and, and being your own best friend is a very big part of, of learning and trusting yourself and, and moving forward in a, in a good, productive, effective, so self supporting way, massages are a really good part of that most for me, you know? So,
Chris Vaglio:
Yeah, I, I I agree with everything you, you said there, Beth you know, I think that with the, I, I love the term of being your own best friend. I think it’s great. It’s, it’s a very positive way to look at it. And, you know, the thing I, the thing I, I work on most, or I guess the thing that comes up most when I’m working with people, whether it’s in the group or one to ones or all that is, is there, there is a lot of, and I think this is not that this inherent to just a certain profession, but I think a lot in create a professional world, you know, there’s a tendency to you know, suppress certain aspects of yourself because you, as a person, I feel like you’re gonna be perceived differently because for whatever reason, you know, you’re just not a hundred percent sure of how people are gonna, but it’s really at the end of the day, it winds up becoming, it’s just something you’ve constructed in your own mind of things to embrace about yourself.
Chris Vaglio:
And I, I’ve gone through this many years and of, and it, and it’s not something that you stop doing overnight, but it is something you can begin to work on and your own way. And what I’m saying by that is, you know, and you can call up by a million different things, personal branding, or, you know, being authentic or, you know, all whatever word it is. But at the end of the day, it’s really just all about being yourself and leaning on the things about you that make you who you are and treating them as a strength that they are, and not, and not looking at them as weaknesses anymore. And I work on that with a lot of, a lot of people because it is. And I it’s something that I’ve, I, I I’ve fallen victim to that. I mean, you know, like talking about, you know, I mean, here, we were talking about star wars before we came on, but I mean, honestly, that’s a thing that I used to not talk about with people years ago, because I felt like people were gonna think a complete nerding geek and no one was gonna take me seriously because they found out I read comics and, and listened to and watched star wars, and then also listen to like punk hardcore and metal music and just thought I would be like some kind of weirdo, like how could I do business with this person or what, you know, like, and that was what was in my head.
Chris Vaglio:
And the opposite of it was what was true was that when I started talking about those things is when I started, you know, having more convers, having more of the right conversations with the right kinds of people that I actually wanted to be, have relationships with or do business with or whatever it is. And, and I learned that and and it was a process, but I think that, that is when you talk about being your own best friend, I think that’s really what it is, is beginning aspect, those parts of yourself that you may feel like are weaknesses, but in all honesty, it’s, they’re really not, they’re they’re total strengths. And so I say, embrace them and, and step into ’em, you know, that’s kind of how I, I would, you know, kind of what, what you guys are talking about. That’s how I sort of perceive it. You know, so yeah, that’s little bit, <laugh> little bit of advice there.
Bonnie Marie Williams:
Love it. We found a way to talk about star wars. Like we said, we would <laugh> beat.
Chris Vaglio:
Yep.
Bonnie Marie Williams:
Fantastic. Jeffrey, were you about to say something? Oh yeah.
Geoffrey Calhoun:
Chris beat me to it, man. I was gonna throw some,
Chris Vaglio:
Sorry, sorry, Jeffrey. I was like you know, it’s just, <laugh> I have
Geoffrey Calhoun:
$5.
Peter and Beth Bostwick:
Got the DC comic thing going there too. Right. I just noticed super man
Bonnie Marie Williams:
Sweater. Yeah. Oh
Geoffrey Calhoun:
Yeah. Yeah. It’s, I’m all about the the archetypes of heroes over here. So yeah, being the best friend for me is finding new qualities in my best friends that I emulate. I mean, and I, and I don’t believe in one best friend. I mean, my wife is my, is my best friend, but then, and I have best dude friends. I have, you know, mm-hmm, <affirmative> best friends all over the place and it’s finding an aspect about them that I can bring into myself. Like, like my wife is, she just loves who she is, you know? And so, and, and it is accepting that those aspects of me and being like, yeah, it’s okay to be like super dorky. Just own it, dude. You know, like, like Chris is saying, so, I mean, that’s, that’s, that’s I totally get it
Peter and Beth Bostwick:
By the way. There’s a lot of business people that are just like that. Chris, it’s a dorky, you know?
Chris Vaglio:
Yeah, no, I know. I know. It’s it’s it’s, it’s it’s not just to creative professionals at all. I, I know there there’s plenty of business folks I know who are still working on just revealing that they have a tattoo under their arm, you know? So it’s like <laugh>
Peter and Beth Bostwick:
Well, and I think it’s wonderful. What you said, Chris, is that once you started to, to embrace who you are, other people you could connect to other people better. Right. And that just really, yeah. Goes to show you that if, if you’re not who you are, you’re not gonna meet who they are. Right, right. Cause they’re, cuz you’re going to, I won’t say attract, but you’re just not gonna have that same level of connection with them because you’re not who you are. Right. And they, they feel that you’re kind of misleading me. So I’m gonna, I kind of mislead you. So it works. It works both ways.
Chris Vaglio:
Yeah. It’s easy to fall into the trap. <Laugh> exactly.
Peter and Beth Bostwick:
It’s so good for you. It’s nice. That’s a nice example. The other thing is you get to be more of who you are and love and you, and you draw people to you that love to be around people like you and you just, the other ones don’t come near you cuz they’re like someplace else. Right? So
Chris Vaglio:
The truth. Yeah. I mean, I think it’s all, it’s all about what kind of energy you put out there, you know? And and yeah. People either are with you or they’re not and Hey, that’s fine. Cuz there’s something for everybody that’s for sure. You don’t want ’em all anyway. No, no, no, not at all. And that’s and that’s okay. And that’s okay.
Peter and Beth Bostwick:
Exactly, exactly. What’s
Bonnie Marie Williams:
That meme that says let your weirdo light shine. So all the other weirdos can find you, something
Chris Vaglio:
Like that. Yes. Yes. <Laugh> yes. That’s the best. Yep,
Bonnie Marie Williams:
Absolutely. So we we’ve talked a lot about, you know, the idea of authenticity, which is what we’re talking about tonight. But I would love to hear what you have to say about the idea of faking it until you make it.
Peter and Beth Bostwick:
Oh yeah.
Bonnie Marie Williams:
You feel like you can be authentic to who you are and still fake it until you make it, do those things. Not at all play into each other. No,
Peter and Beth Bostwick:
I think the relatives, so the thing I would say is know your audience. Mm. Your audience, if you know who your audience is and you, sometimes you have to figure out who they are, you know, then you have a sense as to how much faking until you make it, that you need to do. I would never, I would argue that you never wanna fake it. Totally. Okay. I think I call it. Hmm. What’s the word I would use. You’re not, no, not imposter. No, no. When I, when I think of faking it to you, make it, I think about you don’t tell the whole, whole truth. And that, you know, when we were getting started with our software company we’d of course tell people, of course we could do it, then we’d go home. And it’s like, okay, how are we gonna do this? You know? So it was, it was not quite faking it till you make it, but we weren’t totally truthful to say, well, we’ve never done that before. We were just like, sure. We can figure this out. And so you, you’re still true to yourself, right? You’re true to yourself, but you’re not saying everything and you know, somebody and you always have the issue of people sometimes say things that maybe you misinterpret or you interpret differently. So I think that’s where you really, you choosing your path to create the opportunity for yourself. That’s another way I would put it.
Chris Vaglio:
Yeah. I I, I like that actually. I think that’s, that is some wise words for sure, because I think that the whole fake it to make it thing, I think it’s, it’s definitely a mindset type of thing. And I think it can work for you and against you, depending on how you use it. And I like what you said, like, know your audience, be focused, know who you want to be in front of because other it’s it becomes you know, it just becomes, you could, you don’t wanna be a phony basically. You know, you don’t wanna be somebody who’s just claiming to be somebody else or something else entirely to an audience. And you know, it’s like you said, I think it’s, it’s great to say, Hey <affirmative>, I don’t know this, but we’re gonna work together to figure it out.
Chris Vaglio:
Or, you know, you know, you can get the answer to something and be able to have that knowledge to help somebody, but then to be, just act like the expert on some given topic, just to sort of, you know, whatever win business or I, I don’t know, there’s a bunch of things you could call out there, people by that. So I think there’s a fine line of the sort of fake it to you, make it type of thing. I think you could use it for a lot of good, but in the wrong hands it could be, you know not so great. <Laugh>
Peter and Beth Bostwick:
Yeah. I mean, I
Geoffrey Calhoun:
Got a, I got a CRA. Oh, did he said, do you wanna say something? I don’t wanna step on you. Good. Oh, okay. I have a crazy screenwriting story about faking it till you make it. I have a, I have a anxiety, so we’ll add that to the list of faults that Jeffrey has on top of, you know, how so? The very first time I got nominated for, for an award for screenwriting, it was a, it was a bigger award. It was, it was more an elite festival. We were at the top 10 were invited to LA to attend premier of one around Roman’s films. And we would get to meet Pearlman and the red carpet thing, all that stuff we would get in, we would get interviewed on the red carpet. So, you know, I, I had landed, I didn’t sleep that night, my blood pressures through the roof.
Geoffrey Calhoun:
And I had just got off the plane and went directly to the festival. And so I get ready to go do my interview on the red carpet and bust out the bloodiest nose you have ever seen mm-hmm <affirmative> on the red carpet. I mean like Tarantino, film, bad, right? If you can, right. If you can. Right. And so I ran into the bathroom cuz I’m, I’m, I’m covered in blood and I’m cleaning it up. And a guy ran into the bathroom and saw this scene of me in, in a bloody bathroom. Didn’t say a word. I still remember looking on his face. He turned around and just walked out. So he doesn’t know what’s going on. Right. And so I remember looking in the mirror and thinking, cuz this is a, when I had first started thinking, okay, I can face this. I can go and do this red carpet interview or I can go home.
Geoffrey Calhoun:
I’ve got a wife and a kid waiting for me. I’ve got a comfortable life I’ve created for myself. And that can be it. And this can all end now and remember thinking, you know what, I’m here. I’m gonna do this. I need to do this. Or I’ll never be able to really look at myself the same way. Again, I’ll lose respect for myself. So I went out, I cleaned up best I could. And I did the interview. Now it was a terrible interview. I was awful. But I faked it. I could get to the point to where I was able to really come into myself and find a personality that I could do this and not bust a bloody nose in front of everybody. So I used, yeah, I used to fake it till you make it. It’s a tool. It’s a tool that will get you over that inevitable hump until you can really find your own way if you’re using that tool and you never find yourself and you never discover your own strength, okay. Then you’re doing something wrong. Yeah.
Chris Vaglio:
Yeah. I love that. I think it’s well said and it’s, it’s exactly, you know, used right. It can help you, but put in the wrong hands, it could, you know, work against you because I think at the end of the day, right, you still have to, you have to deliver <laugh>.
Peter and Beth Bostwick:
Yeah.
Chris Vaglio:
And then you have
Peter and Beth Bostwick:
To execute. And I think what you’re saying is you’re still true to yourself, right? This is what was important to you. So you are faking it in your appearance, but you weren’t faking it internally.
Geoffrey Calhoun:
No, I, I, I just put, I just played the character of Jeffrey doing a, doing an interview and everyone pretending that they don’t see the fact that he had blood on them. So, you know, there was that and then like pre and then there was imposter the guys I’m a screenwriter. Do you know how many issues we have to deal with? I, in order to get past that, I mean, past there’s insecurity, Lon a little bit of that as well. And, and you know, you’ve just got this beautiful mix. So yeah, I mean, I, I had, I had to deal with that, but, but it got me through it. And then that led me to more interviews, which then led me to people who believed in me and of led me to people that helped me find my voice. So, I mean, it was, it’s amazing looking back and seeing all these little opportunities that happen that had, I made a slightly different decision. I wouldn’t be here on this panel with you guys having fun.
Peter and Beth Bostwick:
Well, and it’s a Pearlman film, so I’m trying some blood involved <laugh>
Denise Powers:
Yeah. And I mean, and you can say like, not anyone can do an interview, but you did an interview when you were like bleeding out on the red carpet. <Laugh>
Peter and Beth Bostwick:
Red carpet. Good thing.
Geoffrey Calhoun:
Exactly. I made
Chris Vaglio:
A real gift that you got out of. It was, you got a great story to tell now. Yeah,
Geoffrey Calhoun:
Exactly. Yeah. It doesn’t really get any worse than that. I mean, that’s pretty much bottoming out. So I feel like, okay, yeah, we can go anywhere now.
Peter and Beth Bostwick:
Well, I think the point you made is that, you know, you, you went through the experience and it was a challenge for you, but you, you moved forward, you went through it and you learned a lot and you made connections. And I think Chris, you had talked about, you know, you meet somebody here. If you do something there, it’s like you, would’ve never experienced those things. And, and if you look back at what you could have, the choice you could have made, how does that compare to the choice that you did make? And that’s where you, that’s a good example of what I talk about patting yourself on your own back and recognizing what you’ve achieved, because that’s been some time for you, but every little piece, like that makes a difference. So Bonnie, Bonnie, can you hear us your audio back?
Bonnie Marie Williams:
Yes. that was incredibly when you, when you need audio for your job and then to have it go out is only mildly panic inducing. So thank you all so much for you know, for, for being great. I’m, I’m sorry that I missed a lot of that. That’s I will have to watch it on the replay. It is gonna be time to wrap up here in a minute, although I wanna stay on longer because this has been so much fun with everybody and I’m, I’m just having a really great time and that has been needed lately. So I just wanna, first of all, thank you all for being here and for sharing so much of yourselves with everybody here and, and being really vulnerable sharing. A lot of these stories that I think is a really beautiful thing.
Bonnie Marie Williams:
So I just wanna thank you all for being here and thank everybody watching, but I would love to ask kind of a final question of it’s kind of hard to narrow down to everything, but what is the biggest piece of advice that you would like to give to people moving forward into the new year? What is something that you’ve learned that you wanna share with everybody moving forward as we apply how to be, you know, mindful in our businesses and in our lives? Is there, I know it’s kind of a broad question, but something to kind of close us out with just, you know, knock it out of the park, take us home, sort of a, sort of a thing going into the new year.
Chris Vaglio:
I’ll make it quick, but I think that, and this is something I have personally gone through and learned this year, but it’s it’s just, it’s focus focus and on who you wanna be in front of and who you wanna be ultimately doing business with or who you want your audience to be, just know exactly who they are. I know Beth Beth was talking about that earlier, but for me that’s, that’s been key and it’s been a huge learning curve for me as I’ve, as I, as I have gone through it over the last year and a half with this new business. And I feel great going in a, going into next year because I feel confident cuz I know exactly who I want to be talking to and who I want to be working with. So I’d say that, that for me would be my one, my one piece
Bonnie Marie Williams:
Focus.
Peter and Beth Bostwick:
Excellent mind simply be what do you want answering that question? So, and, and then I would add, add to that as and why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why? Because if you get into the why then you’ll understand what a hundred times more. Yeah.
Bonnie Marie Williams:
So just so I’m clear, it’s why, right? <Laugh> I wasn’t sure that was really vague. I just wanna make sure we were all on the same page with that one.
Peter and Beth Bostwick:
Well, the thing is when, cause some people say, cuz if you ask why you ask why the same question you don’t ask why the same question, but you do is you ask, I want this and you say, why do you want that because of this? And then you, you, well, why that, and then you, because of this, well, why that, cause you have to keep drilling down in those whys to get to what’s really at the core of what’s important to you choosing your path. And if it’s not important to you, then you’re doing something for somebody else and that’s a recipe for a disaster, right. Or not happiness, which is the second thing.
Bonnie Marie Williams:
<Laugh> wise words. Indeed. That’s my only dad joke for tonight. <Laugh> thanks for the Gros. I appreciated that. <Laugh>
Denise Powers:
I would say stay, stay open, stay open cultivate an openness to possibility do things that will, that will open you up, you know, like rather than you know, like if you’re blocked or something like that, you know, find ways of, of, of quitting yourself in the way of new opportunities or new possibilities or new ways of, of looking at things and then just be kind to yourself.
Bonnie Marie Williams:
Hmm.
Geoffrey Calhoun:
I mean, I, you guys are hard to follow. That’s all we try to have, like sage like advice over here. You guys are just like killing it. Honestly, who are you surrounding yourself with? That, that that’s, that’s what really, what I focus on finding the tribe and defining the tribe and then once you’re there, once I’m there building them up too, I mean the rising sea lifts all boats. I think I just butchered that don’t tell anybody, but I think you get what I’m saying. I am a writer. I swear. So that’s, that’s, that’s, that’s my 2 cents.
Chris Vaglio:
I love that. I love it. Build, build a strong community around yourself. Yeah, it’s great.
Bonnie Marie Williams:
I think that’s really important, especially with everything happening. We’re we’re together. We’re not back and forth, but if you can find people like find your weirdos, right. If you can find your people, you know, especially if it’s something like this where we’re all meeting on on zoom and webinars, I think that’s really, really important. You know, you don’t go into the millennium Falcon alone, right?
Chris Vaglio:
<Laugh> you need a co-pilot you gotta have a co-pilot to fly the millennium
Geoffrey Calhoun:
Falcon. That would be anybody’s Chewbacca <laugh>
Bonnie Marie Williams:
I was gonna say I’m I’m too short to be Chewbacca and too short to be a storm trooper. So, you know that wouldn’t work for me, but great. We’ve got, we’ve got chewy on deck, so
Geoffrey Calhoun:
I see, I see what you did there.
Bonnie Marie Williams:
Yeah. You’re welcome. I have princess Le of stuff back there. It’s I almost said I know, but I just met you so I’m not making that joke. <Laugh> Oh my goodness. One last question. How can people best connect with you if they wanna, you know, chat with you after I was gonna say after class, if they wanna chat with you after the webinar and talk with you about your services or, you know, do some networking, what’s the best way for people to connect with you?
Peter and Beth Bostwick:
Should we put the link in the in the chat? Would that be
Bonnie Marie Williams:
Helpful? I think links in the chat would be great. You can also, you know, if somebody’s in the middle of, you know, doing dishes or something and they can’t go jump to the chat beforehand, if you wanna give us your social media handle, if that’s your thing or anything like that, that would be awesome. Sure.
Geoffrey Calhoun:
Yeah. You can hit me up at screenwriter pot on Twitter, if you guys wanna chat screenwriting and story and stuff like that, you can go to the successful screenwriter.com where, where you could find my podcast.
Chris Vaglio:
Yeah, I would say so. Yeah. is in the chat, but you can always connect with me on pretty much I’m easy to find an all social media just go to Chris or I’ve even made it easier for people. If you text the word let’s rock to 88500, you can immediately get connected with me and get all my contact info. So just the words let’srock, no spaces, 88500.
Peter and Beth Bostwick:
And the, the way to reach us is just you can choose.info. That’s a little bit about who we are and what some of the coaching work that we do. People are interested. There’s also a newsletter that we send out once a week. That’s just a real short, brief post that we’ve been talk about on our community calls on Tuesday evening. So all free.
Denise Powers:
I’m at Instagram at D powers film and I’m on LinkedIn under my name. There’s probably more than one of my name, but I, I look like me. And I’ve got a website that’s kind of not up to date, but it’s, you know, getting there that that’ll be on the resolutions. How’s that? And what else? Oh yeah, I’m, I’m on Twitter, but I, I fear Twitter, so I don’t actually tweet, but but you could follow me and see if someday I tweet.
Peter and Beth Bostwick:
Beautiful.
Bonnie Marie Williams:
Awesome. Well, I will be connecting with all of you as well. Cuz once you find your weirdo, you keep ’em close or six feet apart as we’re doing right now. But thank you all so much for being here tonight. Thank you all for watching. And you know, I was gonna say tuning in, but thanks to everybody who came tonight and you know, happy new year, happy 20, 22, you and may the force be with you.
Peter and Beth Bostwick:
Oh, awesome. Thank you. Beautiful. Awesome. Good joy. Thank you. Thank you. All right. Have a good night.
